RE: Thank you fm Del and Angel Effie

[Hideyo Yamamoto]

Del – you must know by I now – I cry a lot – and I am crying again reading your email because I feel so much of what you feel and please know that you are not alone. Like Nina, after Suzi died, I couldn’t let go any of stuff with Suzi touched – I put a huge padded rug under than bed so that all my cats (20 plus in this particular house) can sleep comfortably and after Suzi died, I did not want to vacuum or wash it because I knew Suzi’s fur is on it – I left it there for about 6 month – finally, I removed the rug and did not want to wash it, and am keeping it in a closet separately.  Also, the carrier that Suzi stopped breathing, I am leaving it as the way it is with towel in it – and the shirt I was wearing when I held Suzi after she died, her urine was all over the shirt, I couldn’t wash it, and I am keeping it in a plastic bag.  It may sound all crazy to a lot of people, but I wanted to and still want to keep every piece of Suzi’s memory.  Before I cremated her, I cut her fur and keep it in a box and go back and feel it sometimes – it will be almost year, but I still miss her so terribly, and tears will come out immediately as soon as I think of her, and I don’t know the way to stop it, so Del, my thought is with you, and Effie – maybe Suzi and Effie are together in heaven, saying, “silly mom, we are right here watching you, so don’t miss us too much – we are right here”…   Many hugs,   Hideyo   -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Nina Sent: Friday, March 04, 2005 12:11 PM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: Re: Thank you fm Del and Angel Effie   Oh Del, We know how you feel.  I held off vacuuming for as long as I could after losing Vixen.  I complained about her shedding Siberian Husky fur all over the house while she was with me, but after I lost her, I just couldn't bring myself to clean it up, knowing it would be for the last time.  I'm so sorry for your grief, it just never gets easier.  I try to prepare myself for the inevitable, sometimes I even feel some acceptance of the situation.  It only lasts for 10 minutes, or so, then I find myself pleading for my angels not to be taken from me.  Something that helps me walk past those familiar places where my babies used to be, is imagining them still there.  I speak to them and tell them how much I love them, how much I appreciate having known them and what a privilege it was to care for them.  I tell them about what's going on in the household, sometimes I ask for help in getting through to somebody whose being particularly naughty.  I call on Vixen and another lost beloved GSD, Contessa, when I have a lesson with a dog that I'm concerned about reaching (I'm a dog trainer), and ask them to be with me in spirit to help communicate.  After my Tess died, I felt and saw her out of the corner of my eye many times.  There was one time in particular, I was sitting at the computer writing an homage to her and her wonderful spirit.  I could have sworn she was right at my feet where she always used to lay.  I almost reached down to pet her.  Effie is still with you, she loves you and she's watching over you.  Much love, Nina Del Daniels wrote: Thank you to everyone who responded with sympathies to my huge loss of Effie.  She was such a light in our lives and we miss her terribly.  The "real" Effie gradually faded away and she became a more sedentary waif with less fur and less weight.  At times her eyes were bright and interested in playing but the body didn't allow response.  Lack of energy and increasing discomfort took her away, little by little.  Gosh, how I love her and miss her.  In January 04 intuition was that she was in her last year with us and I wanted to soak up as much of her as possible and give her even more love and attention and I moved in her bedroom with her.  I was already in with her a lot, sitting in her sunroom or watching tv, any projects that could be done there.  That bathroom is "mine" and she inspected my shower and checked the drain for possible thingies ... don't know if she ever found any but it was one of her daily rituals.  There is a screen door on her bedroom instead of a hard paneled door and we looked in at her and talked to her every passing by.  My heart breaks again and again as I look in and she is not there.  I have been cleaning in her sunroom and bedroom (her apartment :) and her fluffy fur is still flying around; remembering all her favorite games and resting places.  And crying and crying.  I am going to buy new bedspreads and kind of change the look of it, the others need replacing anyway.  The toilet seat cover where she loved to pull on the loops and made very long loops will have to stay for a while.  She loved pulling things apart with her teeth.  She decarpeted her bedroom and we put in tile!  A roll of paper towel makes great confetti.  Hubby had to put a toilet tissue holder UP HIGH - betcha Effie wasn't the only one who liked to unroll that stuff and make more confetti ... you all have a kitty who enjoys doing that?    Your prayers and caring has held me together, Del ----- Original Message ----- From: Julie Johnson To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Sent: Friday, March 04, 2005 8:36 AM Subject: Re: Effie has her angel's wings   Dear Del,   How sorry I am to hear that Effie has left you.  We all know how hard it is; the hardest thing in life, it seems.  She's free of pain and happy now, surely with your friend Liz.  I'm sorry for your loss of Liz, as well, but I hope you can find comfort in knowing they are together and in the special memories you have of each of them.   Sending a big, big hug your way. Take care of yourself.   Love, Julie Del Daniels <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Effie left us this morning and my friend, Liz, who passed away last week, is taking care of her in heaven.  The pain from the growing mass against her spine took away her quality of life.  It was awfully hard.  It IS hard.  You understand, we continue to look at their favorite places and those places are empty ... and I cry for her.  My heart is broken.   Thank you everyone for support and feedback.  Without these groups, she would never have lived this long or this well.   Del >^.^< Spay/Neuter Your Pet PLEASE Adopt a Shelter Pet PAWS of Union County, IL Rescue Angels On Wheels A Hamburger Stops a Beating Heart "I hold that, the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man. " "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948) Paws Come WITH Claws!!! 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