Re: Loki is at rest (From Terrie sorry so long)

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 17:57:25 -0800

Steve,
    I just read your original posting along with this on your sweet furangel Loki. I'm sorry for not responding until now been away from the computer.
I shed some tears as I write this to you. I had paid closed attention to all your postings about Loki. Had hope like hell Loki would be around a long time for you. I know how special he was to you. You were a great Daddy to him.
Yes, it is hard to come home without seeing your precious furbaby. It is rough it won't easy because there is constant reminders of him.
I too when I lost my Taz was bitter for quite awhile. It was a year before I could talk about him openly without crying. My husband told me to take all my negative energy and turn into positve energy. I finally realized what he meant by it...thought nothing of it at first that he couldn't understand how I felt. (Which was false he loved Taz too)
In time I did do as he said to do.
I chose to deal with Siameses that are homeless. There are more out there than people realize in shelters. I think California has the worst everyday I get a list of Siameses that are sitting in shelters there. Ages from a baby kitten thru senior kitties.
I had a Animal Communicator contact me awhile back regarding my losses of Taz and Smokey.
The A.C. mentioned: Taz will arrive when I least expect it. That what I did for him he isn't angry or upset with me. Not to feel bad or sorry that I put him through the surgery to try and save him. He said that he was ready to leave his body because it couldn't take the illness anymore. He also said that no matter how much money I spent he wouldn't be the same as he was before the surgery.
It does give me some closure but I will always wonder though.
I do have some faith in A.C.'s because when I lost my Smokey on Jan. 27th 2005 they mentioned certain things only I knew about him and never spoke of to others beside my husband. It was kinda eerie but it was the truth about certain beds, colors, and how he was devoted to me. He was tired after being in his body for 19yrs.
Once again, I have 6 male siameses only one barely comes close to my Taz. But I'm not looking for him in them. I did go that route in the begining believe me it doesn't work that way. I think God put him in my care temporary to help others in need. That in time I will get my reward for doing so. This is what my conclusion came to after I have thought it over and over again. I don't know....who's to say.
I have Taz's ashes with me in my computer room along with his photos to view when I start feeling down that gives me hope again. (Smokey ashes too)
(I'm not a religious person even though I have Catholic/Presbytarian in my background)
Taz was my pride and joy. He is the reason I decided to make my rescue  and transport business official. I have been doing it a long time prior to getting him but it was private.
Please give yourself some healing time to grieve over Loki it is normal to feel the way you do.
I'm so sorry about your furbaby "Loki" though...so sad.
I hope in time you can find it in your heart to overcome the bitterness like I have.
Vent all you want if thats what you need to do. I will listen if you would like to talk....
Bless you for caring and loving him. He is free now playing with the butterflies as Taz and the others show him the way. The time will come when you two will be together again.....
 
In a message dated 4/1/2005 1:41:18 PM Pacific Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
Thank you ALL so very much for your kinds words.
 
I don't thing I believe in anything anymore, but I wish with every fiber of my being, Loki and all our kitties are playing happily in a less cruel world and hope Loki is also near to me at the same time.  I do know he became a part of my soul.
 
I am at home all the time, but had to go out this morning to do some volunteer work.  I discovered it is easier to be away from home.  When I am home, there are to many reminders that a part of my soul is missing, that there is no Loki to come running to greet me. Yet here I am.  I cannot yet quell the uneasiness in my gut quite yet.
 
I'm going through my angry faze right now.  I guess it is good to yell and get it out.
 
I know I will get through this eventually.  Once again, thanks for all your kind words.  Bless all of you.
 
Steve
 

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