karolyn, there is no credible evidence at this point that FIV passes in ANY way other than DEEP, PENETRATING bites--certainly not by licking! it has to be blood to blood, and even rough play bites do not seem to be a problem. remember that FIV+ generally passes during serious male to male fights over females--while not fights to the death, exactly, we are NOT talking simple play time. very few females, who certainly fight as well, contract FIV, except through deep, penetrating bites probably received during, excuse the expression, rough sex.
this level of aggression is testosterone-driven, and once a cat is neutered, those urges are just not there any longer. go to a sanctuary and look into the FIV room--fat, lazy, incredibly cuddly couch potatoes. in the rare cases that an FIV male does remain aggressive after neutering, two solutions that totally remove any danger are extraction of the canine teeth and/or filing them down so that any bite inflict a bite deep enough to pass the virus. the other thing to remember is that, even if FIV is contracted, it is basically a nothing disease--as others have said, cats die WITH FIV, rarely because of it. MC
