Thanks to all of you who took the time to respond about Andy. I do
appreciate it. Barb, Sharon, Yvonne, Terrie, Belinda and anyone else I
may have missed- it was good to hear from you again. To the others- it
was good to "meet" you for the first time.
I did take him to the vet first thing this morning. Dr. Caldwell
was in surgery so I saw Dr. Baxter instead. Also a very nice man.
Every person in that place has just been wonderful! He looked at Andy's
chart and said he hoped I didn't think of them as "bad" since my very first
experience there has been this ordeal with my baby boy.
Anyway, he was very straight forward and said while he wanted to commend
me on an outstanding job taking care of a Felv+ cat for this long, that there
was not much he could do and that this was the beginning of the end.
Whatever was going on had his insides in shreds. The vet said even if I
WANTED him to run tests, he was 99% sure that Andy would not come out of the
sedation in that state. Barb- it was so strange. He held up Andy's
face so we were eye to eye and said "Mrs. Laws, tell me, do you really see
Andy there anymore?" And the answer was no. So I started bawling
and babbling about how I didn't warn my husband that this was a possibility
this morning and he just went to work without saying goodbye. I mean I
was a crying freak and I just met the man! So he gave me a small TOWEL
and said I was not having a "Kleenex cry" so to take a towel. Then he
told me we were not making the call right now, and not like that. He
gave him a bag of fluids and a shot of Prednisone and told me to talk to my
husband first. I went back to work, then came and got Andy at
lunch. I took him home and spent the afternoon with him. He pooped
blood all over himself TWICE. The second time I was washing him off in
the sink and he had one of his episodes (Dr. Baxter said these were probably
small strokes rather than seizures). But this time it lasted a long,
long time. He quit breathing and went limp in my arms. No noise,
no chest movement. He was gone. So I laid him on the floor on the
towel and my phone rang, it was my husband. So I was hysterical
telling him Andy just died in my arms and I was freaking out. Right
then, Andy let out this gaspy, panting type breath and started
convulsing. Then he just kind of sat up a little bit like nothing
happened! But he was dead I tell you. So then I really freaked out
and said "he's not dead!" I mean screaming it. So Abe (husband)
asked what freeway the new vet was off of since he was on his way
home. I told him where it was and he just said "I am
meeting you there right now." So I knew. I was not going to keep
him through the night to spend a little more time together. That
was it. He was suffering and I was thinking of what
I needed to be okay and not Andy. I wrapped him in
a towel and drove to the vet. I called first and again, just crying into
the phone I managed to get out "I had my cat in there this morning and..."
that's all I could get out. The poor girl who answered said "I'm so
sorry Jamie, we will see you in a minute." She knew my name and I
hadn't even mentioned the cat's name. Guess I was the only bawling woman
in with a cat today. Anyway, I managed to choke out "but you close
in 15 minutes." She just said "we'll be here." It was so
wonderful to be treated with compassion. My old vet would have said
"well ER hours start in 15 minutes so just be prepared to pay double."
Anyway, I met Abe there and Dr. Baxter took us back to the treatment
area. Andy laid on the table very still and I petting him and kissed his
little face as the vet gave him the injection. I have never
witnessed an animal bing PTS in real life. I'm sorry if
this is all too graphic but it helps me to get it out. I was surprised
that his eyes didn't close and nothing changed. I didn't realize he was
gone until the vet said "ok, his heart stopped." Then I lost
it. The "never agains" hit me like a ton of bricks. He
will never do his cold nose bumping and tiny front teeth nipping on my
husband's inner arm trying to get him to pet him. He will never serve as
my "fun police" when I want my great dane to stop bringing his toy to
me. I would just lay it on the coffee table right next to Andy who was
always ready with his right hook. That kept Apollo in check. He
would NOT go for that toy if Andy was sitting by it. :) I will
never again have my soft little lap warmer as I sit at my computer. I
will never. There are millions of those and I think that's the worst
part.
I guess the bright spot is I think I found a new vet. Their office
visits seem really high to me, but they were just so wonderful to me.
After it was done, the vet and the tech both said to just go on out the
front since they saw me getting my wallet out to pay. I am
getting his ashes on Thursday so they said to just take care of it
then. I swear, my old vet would have followed me out to the front and
told the girls at the front desk "she hasn't paid for the euthanasia
yet." He has the bedside manner of a barracuda. But anyway, that's
it. My head is pounding from crying so much so I am going to make myself
a stiff drink now and piddle around in my garden for a while.
What a sad day.
Jamie