Re: Cotton

[Dudes]

Nina, Kerry, Michelle, Gloria: I do understand what you meant, Michelle, I went back and read it again.  I guess I am just sensitive to my limitations-what I can and can't do.  I've felt that I have had to bargain for Cotton's life from the start, not only with the other vet he originally saw, but with my own husband.  But I do try to understand that not everyone feels as I do, and that's not in my control.  So I also apologize to you, Michelle for being too sensitive to what you had to say.  There has been nothing to indicate ever that you might feel that way about me.  You've always been very compassionate and I do accept your good intentions.  I am keeping your email to read over again should the chemo situation come up.       And Kerry, I appreciate so much your words of acceptance and support.  I cannot tell you all how wonderful it is to have that.  It's not something I'm used to,and it's very valued.  I'm used to having to defend myself in wildlife rehabbing circles, even to strangers or acquaintances.  People look at me like I'm crazy and ask in their most patient voice, "Why?  There are tons of squirrels everywhere.  One or two here and there won't make a difference."  But for that little baby squirrel who got blown out of his warm nest in the treetops, now lying on the ground screaming at the top of his lungs to be saved, but momma squirrel was too afraid of the dog in the backyard to go get him, it makes a difference.  Just like the starfish story.        I have been emotional today over Cotton, Nina.  I suppose I have been so encouraged by Cotton's wellness and lack of symptoms, it  was easy to forget that the FeLV and it's associated threats are never far away.  It's so frustrating to me, knowing that to anyone else, he might just be a little ordinary orange cat, but to me, he's such a happy little spirit who brings a smile every time he returns my offer of affection or even if he does something naughty, he's so curious and full of life, I just can't be mad at him.  He's been slow to trust, but he's come a long way, and he had a bad start in life.  I doubt anyone cared enough to know that the little family of outside cats he came from may all have been infected with FeLV, even though their people have been notified.  But I feel Cotton's in my life to teach me something, and for us to love as much as we can.   Thank you for all good thoughts and hugs.  You are very appreciated. Sandy