----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, March 04, 2006 6:13
PM
Subject: I lost my Jake
I had to let Jake go. He kept getting worse and worse. He was barely
moving, breathing really hard and panting, no control of his bodily
functions...he was ready...I tried feeding him w/ a syringe and also with baby
food. He wouldn't let me open his mouth and if I did manage to get some
in there, it would just sit there...he wouldn't even swallow. He looked
at me like "why are you doing this to me." It killed me. I hope he
knew that I was only trying to help him. His HCT was down to 8. He
was miserable, and I decided that it was selfish to put him through more when
it was so bleak. I wish I wish I wish I had caught it earlier and he
would have had time to see if he could respond to the treatments he was
getting. I am of course second guessing myself and wishing I could do
things over again, etc. I know it's normal to do that, but it's so
hard. By the time I finally let him go, he wasn't even there I don't
think..empty look in his eyes....I think he was already gone.
I miss him so much. I only had 5 months with him but it was filled
with so much joy. Jake (full name Jake Ryan after the character in the
movie 16 Candles) was given up by his previous owner to a shelter. Not
sure why, I guess you never do. The shelter usually puts down cats that
are FELV+, but they fell in love with him and gave him a second chance.
Jake is one of the friendliest, most playful, warm, sweetest cats
around. The shelter gave him to the rescue group I used to volunteer
for. I was looking to adopt a cat from the group since I was moving to
NYC. I didn't set out for a FELV+, and didn't know anything about it,
but he was just to precious to live the rest of his life in a cage, which is
what was probably going to happen. So I took Jake with me, one of the
best decisions I have made. He had a rough go, constantly fighting URIs,
diarrhea, and finally the anemia. But he never lost his spirit.
Everyone who met him fell in love. He didn't deserve to live such a
short life (he was about 2 1/2), but I am glad I was able to make the end of
it a happy one. He was so affectionate. Would literally rub
everything in sight! My favorite thing was putting my knuckle a few
inches above his head and he would get on two legs so he could rub. He
just loved rubbing! He would also love climbing on my dresser
while I was sleeping, and he was bored, and taking out my jewelry from my
jewelry box and throwing it on the floor.....it drove me crazy but I would
give anything to be able to be driven crazy again!
Thanks to all on this list for advice along the way. You all
definitely helped him get over his URI, which made his last months much more
pleasant.
Marissa
