Marissa - I think these kitties become so precious to us in part because so many people view FeLV kitties as throw aways. We feel extra protective because people don't understand why we go through this. All my FeLV kitties that have passed were my most precious babies. I didn't want to go through this again, but the FeLV kitty I took from the shelter needed me.(BTW our shelter does NOT euthanise just because a cat tests positive :)). I turned in my healthy foster so I could take the FeLV one. I set myself up for heartache, but I put myself aside so he could be happy. The most important lesson you have learned is that these kitties have as much to give as any healthy animal. Anytime I hear someone talk about an FeLV kitty I encourage them to keep them and make them a part of their life. I want people to know these animals can live with this virus. It has become a mission for me. You are now someone who can spread the word so more of these beautiful babies can know life. I know your heart is aching, but you did an amazing thing - you gave this beautiful boy a happy life.
Beth Marissa Johnson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Nina (and EVERYONE!), thank you soooooo much! It is so helpful to know that those doubts are normal and that it won't be an indication that I made the wrong decision. I honestly don't know how I would get through this time without all of you! MC and Barb have been absolutely amazing chatting with me online and helping me sort things out - thanks! And all of you, your words of encouragement and support mean so much to me! I know this is going to be near impossible and that it's going to hurt a lot...but somehow I'll manage to get through it. Thank you for sharing this journey with me and for lending me your strength! I've been telling Slink all about my other pets who are waiting for him at the Rainbow Bridge... and telling him that I'm gonna help him get rid of his tired weak body and feel wonderful again. I hope he'll carry a piece of my heart with me...and I know I'll have him in my heart forever. He'll always be my most precious kitty...the kitty of my heart. I truly don't think I understood the depths of love and responsibility I was capable of feeling until he came into my life. He has taught me SOOOO MUCH (which I'll write more about someday) and I will cherish those lessons always. I can only hope I've been able to show him the same depth of love, acceptance, and security he has shown me. Thank you again for being here with me. I've got less than 24 hours now to be with my precious baby, so I'm going to make the most of it. GLOW to you and your babies! MJ Nina <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Marissa, I'm so sorry. My eyes filled with tears when I read your news this morning. I had such high hopes for a miracle for you and your Slinky boy. I know you haven't come to this decision lightly and that the only reason you would even consider this is to spare him any unnecessary suffering. MC has a quote that has given me comfort, something about it being better to let them go a day too soon than an hour too late. I have been on both sides of this terrible coin; waiting with hope only to have them suffer, and living afterward with the fear that I made the decision to help them cross too soon. No matter what we do in these circumstances we may be plagued by the possibility that we did the wrong thing, (the dreaded "what ifs"). I just wanted to let you know that I understand, and that I don't believe that it is possible to do "the wrong thing" when these hard decisions are made from our hearts. When we lose the hope of recovery, then letting them go is the last gift of love we can bestow on them. The last act of protection we can provide. I had such terrible regrets when I helped my Jazzy cross, but in the weeks that followed I found myself replacing my self-recriminations with acceptance. Even if I hadn't made the decision I did, she most likely would have been gone by then. Finally, I was able to forgive myself, not so much for the decisions I made, but for not being able to control the circumstances of our time together. I was able to forgive myself for not being able to save her. At least I can know that because I made the decision I did, when I did, her suffering was not prolonged. I know that she knows I will always love her, that I'm grateful for the time she graced my life and that no matter how many tears I shed, I will never be sorry I took her in. I can rest easier knowing that my sweet bottle baby, whom I had protected and nurtured from the time I became her surrogate mom, never had a moment of fear or want. Not even at the end of her all too short life. I'm glad that you've made it possible to spend this time in Slinky's company. With how hard you've both fought, with all you and your family have done for your darling Slink, I'm praying that you will be spared the torture of any "what ifs". Hold that angel close and know that he has worked his way into all our hearts. Much love to you, Nina Marissa Johnson wrote: > Thanks for that reminder Phaewryn. I've actually been able to > postpone tomorrow's meeting (my boss had asked if I wanted to this > morning because I've been sick, but like a dope I said I'd be > okay!...but I was able to call everyone and tell them we're postponing > it. I think it's for the best all the way around). So I've made the > appointment for tomorrow evening at 6:40 - the last appointment of the > day - and have found a friend to go with me. > > I can't believe I'm doing this. It seems so...FINAL. And I guess it > is, but...wow. I know it's what's best but that doesn't make it any > easier. > > Anyway, Slink and I have the rest of tonight and all of tomorrow to be > with each other. Thanks again for all your support! > > MJ --------------------------------- Looking for earth-friendly autos? Browse Top Cars by "Green Rating" at Yahoo! Autos' Green Center. --------------------------------- Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Yahoo! Travel to find your fit.