I've been hoping and praying that Tomi would somehow pull through this, and last week he did seem to be doing better on the 2 prednisone per day.
But now, the last few days, he's been going downhill fast. Today, he is out of breath just walking a few feet, and breathing fast. I'm still able to coax him to eat a bit of baby food, but he just threw up the last bit of food I gave him. He never throws up normally. I guess I have to finally accept the fact that he's not going to get better. I've been thinking about the whole euthanizing thing, but I honestly don't know how I could do that to him. To spend the last hours of his life doing to him what he hates the most (car ride and vet visit), seems too hard for me to handle. I don't think i'm strong enough to make that decision. To me it feels like I would be personally ending his life. I don't want him to suffer either, and i'm not sure at all how much longer he will last when he is having difficulty getting enough oxygen circulated due to anemia. I still can't believe all this has happened. Two months ago I was positive he would one day become a chunky, lazy old tom cat, lounging in the sun. I would never have dreamed I would lose him after only 2 and a half years. Over the last 7 weeks, i've become even closer to him than ever as I've been trying to nurse him back to health. He's always been so loving and tolerant of my hugs and kisses. Life is going to feel so empty when he is gone. Cassandra
