Hey there. I'd like to do a proper C&C of this one, go line by line, but truth be told I simply don't have the time right now. There's not much wrong with the fic, anyway, grammar-wise, and I only spotted four or five typos. All in all, it was pretty polished, which helps enormously.
Still, I simply had to drop you a line congratulating you for your story. It's so rare to see a fanfic based on Detective Conan worth reading - I think I've only found two or three. The reason I send this to the list at large is to try to make people check in their backlogs and give this fic a chance - if you have read Conan, you won't regret it. Character sketches can be fun - I love them, myself - but focusing on as complex a character as Vermouth can make it both interesting and challenging. You pulled it off just fine, building on her backstory in a believable fashion. You must really love the source material to be able to add so many details from the manga spread through 64 volumes and counting. As you said in the notes, there was sex and dark themes aplenty, but the detached third-person, present tense inner monologue you picked was actually perfect to keep it from sounding crass. You might have abused of the paragraphs starting with "She...", but all in all I liked it. I think there was more to be explored in the Gin and Vermouth relationship, too, but on the other hand the fic's length seemed just about right to me. Decisions, decisions... So, to recap. Read this, FFMLers. It's good, it's tasty. Thanks for sharing. Talk to you later, Aishuu, Latin_D ----- Original Message ----- From: "Aishuu Shadowweaver" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2007 1:33 PM Subject: [FFML] [Detective Conan][oneshot] Lessons Learned Along the Way Lessons Learned Along the Way ~ A Detective Conan Fan Fiction ~ by aishuu Notes: Likely should be considered R for under age sex, dark themes. Wordcount: 5,700 Summary: Vermouth may have been called a "rotten apple" but she's really more of an onion. Strip away one layer, and you'll encounter another, and another. Even she doesn't know where the real her begins. --- .-------Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List--------. | Administrators - [EMAIL PROTECTED] | | Unsubscribing - [EMAIL PROTECTED] | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `------------ FAQ URL coming soon.... -------------'
