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Hi List ! A little late, but soooo funny....copied from todays
CD-List. Lisa Pedersen Cedar City UT. where it is clear, kind of warm,
and no snow.
> Horse List of New Year's Resolutions
> 1. I CAN walk and poop at the same time. I can, I
> can, I can
> 2. I will NOT stop and poop or urinate every time
> I pass the same spot in the arena.
> 3. I will NOT leave when my rider falls off.
> 4. My stall is NOT my litter box. When I have free
> access to my paddock, I will NOT
> go back inside to pee.
> 5. I will NOT roll in streams or try to roll when my human is on my
back.
> 6. I will NOT leap over large nonexistent
> obstacles when the whim strikes.
> 7. I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I
> did on the way out.
> 8. I promise NOT to swish my tail while my human
> is cleaning my back feet.
> 9. I promise also NOT to choose that particular
> time to answer nature's call.
> 10. I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just
> because it's there.
> 11. I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for
> really soft hay.
> 12. I will NOT wipe green slime down the back of
> my human's white shirt.
> 13. I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
> 14. I will NOT try to mooch goodies off every
> human within 1 mile radius.
> 15. I will NOT lay totally flat out in my stall
> with my eyes glazed over and my legs
> straight out and pretend I can't hear my
> human frantically screaming "Are you
> asleep?"
> 16. I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric
> fence to see if it is on.
> 17. I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow
> of manure over while my human
> is mucking my stall.>
> 18. I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and
> attempt to lead myself.
> 19. I will NOT have an attitude problem. I won't,
> I won't, I won't!
> 20. I will NOT pull my new shoes off the very next
> day just to prove that I can.
> 21. I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or
remodel
> the
> barn or the new fences.
> 22. I am NOT a Shin'a'in Battlesteed. I will not
> act like one.
> 23. I WILL forgive my human for the very bad
> haircut, even though I Look like a
> freak.
> 24. I accept that not every carrot is for me.
> 25. I will NOT do the Arab Teleport Trick when a
> bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus
> Monster breathes at me.
> 26. I will NOT jump in the air, turn 180 degrees
> every time I see a deer.
> 27. I will understand that deer are NOT
> carnivorous.
> 28. I will NOT shy at familiar objects just for
> fun.
> 29. I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in
> front of me during the trail ride just
> to say "Hi".
> 30. I WILL put my ears forward and cooperate when
> it comes to photos.
>
