"Museo" Revolt!
Several drummers (as many as possible) are to gather outside of warehouses, office buildings, music stores, or recording studios affiliated with major record labels and play simultaneously and as ostensibly as their abilities allow. They will only be guided by a stopwatch. When the stopwatch reaches 20'00", they are to dissemble and leave.
Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
PIRATEWAR (A film)
Get a camera.
Use cardboard, glue, or any kind of craft/hobby to make pirate hats, swords, shields, and eyepatches.
Gather 25 to 100 people and have them dress as pirates.
To make the film, take your pirates to a large public area (i.e. a busy intersection) and have them battle to the "death" while yelling the worst pirate cliches they can think of.
Continue for as long as possible and send the film to me (A Chair, 131 Vanesse Rd, Morrisville, VT, 05661)
Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
Puzzle Piece
Walk up to someone working on a puzzle.
Pick up a piece at random and exclaim "if you don't do it, I'm going to eat this puzzle piece!"
Before s/he can respond, yell "Do it!"
Repeat twice, count to three, and then eat and walk away.
Tube Piece
Argue that everything is phallic or uterine.
Chicken Man
Debone a chicken and pound it into a phallus. Cook until charred.
Boot Piece
Imagine what you can do with three boots and two feet.
For Pants
Take four pairs of pants and perform any action, most duly encouraged is getting naked with them.
Solo For Loser and Clarinet
Lose the clarinet and get a job.
Doctor Variations
Perform surgery on a shoe, but clean every utensil with your tongue.
Story 1
Today, a bear. Wondered all over the green marshes and carelessly stumbled on fragments of complex rocks. It bellowed out, "Nobody knows what you do with your lungs!" Nobody knows what you do. There were too many to be alpha bets. It continued on its journey only to find a brass onion on a dead plate. Finally, the juxtaposed lemon vapors caught him off-guard and bit him.
Two days later, he arrived at a garden admiring the colors of the rotting mammalian piano frame discarded by the apartment home. I sighed and exclaimed, "the nation guarantees."
Story 2
A melting imbecile watched as a tin can melted from the fire. Reflecting on his childhood, he saw the washing machine in a hospital. Later he ended his life by asking the shiny velvet gentleman to slit his pancreas.
Walk up to someone working on a puzzle.
Pick up a piece at random and exclaim "if you don't do it, I'm going to eat this puzzle piece!"
Before s/he can respond, yell "Do it!"
Repeat twice, count to three, and then eat and walk away.
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
Tube Piece
Argue that everything is phallic or uterine.
Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
Chicken Man
Debone a chicken and pound it into a phallus. Cook until charred.
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
Boot Piece
Imagine what you can do with three boots and two feet.
Monday, March 15th, 2004
For Pants
Take four pairs of pants and perform any action, most duly encouraged is getting naked with them.
Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
Solo For Loser and Clarinet
Lose the clarinet and get a job.
Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
Doctor Variations
Perform surgery on a shoe, but clean every utensil with your tongue.
Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
Story 1
Today, a bear. Wondered all over the green marshes and carelessly stumbled on fragments of complex rocks. It bellowed out, "Nobody knows what you do with your lungs!" Nobody knows what you do. There were too many to be alpha bets. It continued on its journey only to find a brass onion on a dead plate. Finally, the juxtaposed lemon vapors caught him off-guard and bit him.
Two days later, he arrived at a garden admiring the colors of the rotting mammalian piano frame discarded by the apartment home. I sighed and exclaimed, "the nation guarantees."
Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
Story 2
A melting imbecile watched as a tin can melted from the fire. Reflecting on his childhood, he saw the washing machine in a hospital. Later he ended his life by asking the shiny velvet gentleman to slit his pancreas.
Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
