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All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline. One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. The best proof of love is trust. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? Who so loves believes the impossible. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love. The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. Who so loves believes the impossible. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. Who so loves believes the impossible. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! When love is not madness, it is not love. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
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