The minimalist side of me agrees with Cheryl's suggestions. But the side of me that has answered more customer queries than I care to think about is concerned that the minimal version perhaps goes too far. One thing that bothers me a bit is the the way the noun that immediately follows "covers" is singular, so that a naive customer might wonder where to fond the other cover(s) on the supervisor. I also tend to put sequential information at the beginning of instructions rather than the end.
My non-minimalist version would be something like: Before proceeding, remove the covers from all units, including the supervisor and each node. -FR ________________________________ From: Framers <framers-bounces+docudoc=hotmail....@lists.frameusers.com> on behalf of Cheryl Magadieu <cmagad...@gmail.com> Sent: Thursday, July 16, 2020 1:13 PM To: An email list for people using Adobe FrameMaker software. <framers@lists.frameusers.com> Subject: Re: [Framers] [EXTERNAL] Grammar question "All" is superfluous; I would remove it. I would also remove "before proceeding further"; it is assumed that the user will perform this step before proceeding to the next one. Revised sentence: Remove the covers from the supervisor and nodes. As to whether the revision is "better," minimalists would say that content is easier to read and understand when you streamline a sentence. Cheryl On Thu, Jul 16, 2020 at 12:56 PM Tom Beiswenger < tom.beiswen...@emhartglass.com> wrote: > I prefer "A". "Further," though, is redundant. If you are proceeding, it > can be presumed that you are going further. > > -----Original Message----- > From: Framers <framers-bounces+tom.beiswenger= > emhartglass....@lists.frameusers.com> On Behalf Of Doug > Sent: Thursday, July 16, 2020 12:52 PM > To: An email list for people using Adobe FrameMaker software. < > framers@lists.frameusers.com> > Subject: [EXTERNAL] [Framers] Grammar question > > Which of the two sentences is better? Is there a "better", or is it just > a matter of personal preference? > > A. Remove all the covers from the supervisor and nodes before proceeding > further. > > B. Remove the covers from the supervisor and all nodes before proceeding > further. > > Thanks! > _______________________________________________ > > This message is from the Framers mailing list > > Send messages to framers@lists.frameusers.com Visit the list's homepage > at > https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Furldefense.proofpoint.com%2Fv2%2Furl%3Fu%3Dhttp-3A__www.frameusers.com%26d%3DDwICAg%26c%3DeuGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM%26r%3DzzmJd9V-AOY-pLCA-v8cPy_mRSvZCZwNZBdUabWmOfQ%26m%3DE06cd_ebvLhhUxgxFUFz6qKr8KVBVogWB8bfyDhXdwQ%26s%3DSiuGPFsFOQJOLDE_SJ-Qnc-CJrk0LjDnyKChbn3syGs%26e%3D&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=WSn7wyF5pVboj7uS6yC92bc%2BC9%2FPZhmEZflGudqA%2B0k%3D&reserved=0 > Archives located at > https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Furldefense.proofpoint.com%2Fv2%2Furl%3Fu%3Dhttp-3A__www.mail-2Darchive.com_framers-2540lists.frameusers.com_%26d%3DDwICAg%26c%3DeuGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM%26r%3DzzmJd9V-AOY-pLCA-v8cPy_mRSvZCZwNZBdUabWmOfQ%26m%3DE06cd_ebvLhhUxgxFUFz6qKr8KVBVogWB8bfyDhXdwQ%26s%3DFn18__Y4754odcMIsHc9IEwEbvtmEov4ICWLFVXXwGw%26e%3D&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=Cood6%2B7ejxTzxKWjKhxDWOlNA0TyRAO4SLXozOgjBwM%3D&reserved=0 > Subscribe and unsubscribe at > https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Furldefense.proofpoint.com%2Fv2%2Furl%3Fu%3Dhttp-3A__lists.frameusers.com_listinfo.cgi_framers-2Dframeusers.com%26d%3DDwICAg%26c%3DeuGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM%26r%3DzzmJd9V-AOY-pLCA-v8cPy_mRSvZCZwNZBdUabWmOfQ%26m%3DE06cd_ebvLhhUxgxFUFz6qKr8KVBVogWB8bfyDhXdwQ%26s%3DKBxYkF0KySkbYCmr37ehZehOkyMxnt3R1azJewRra28%26e%3D&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=N7iZBQtJaffIEJltp%2BIzYbX%2F8uT6cmseTMkyym%2B9XP4%3D&reserved=0 > Send administrative questions to listad...@frameusers.com > _______________________________________________ > > This message is from the Framers mailing list > > Send messages to framers@lists.frameusers.com > Visit the list's homepage at > https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.frameusers.com%2F&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=JnfVrbWjWnPRHjyTtRDe9SjS5NlUuXfYk7agHqjNL0k%3D&reserved=0 > Archives located at > https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mail-archive.com%2Fframers%2540lists.frameusers.com%2F&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=CFCteYQ%2B849Dzi3KarZCF5A3AjUR5Q9G1lCk%2FuGiq9k%3D&reserved=0 > Subscribe and unsubscribe at > https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Flists.frameusers.com%2Flistinfo.cgi%2Fframers-frameusers.com&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=p5APOH0x3FGgxq0H6I18l%2FNfisvDWehkINh4lx6LxB8%3D&reserved=0 > Send administrative questions to listad...@frameusers.com > _______________________________________________ This message is from the Framers mailing list Send messages to framers@lists.frameusers.com Visit the list's homepage at https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.frameusers.com%2F&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=JnfVrbWjWnPRHjyTtRDe9SjS5NlUuXfYk7agHqjNL0k%3D&reserved=0 Archives located at https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mail-archive.com%2Fframers%2540lists.frameusers.com%2F&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=CFCteYQ%2B849Dzi3KarZCF5A3AjUR5Q9G1lCk%2FuGiq9k%3D&reserved=0 Subscribe and unsubscribe at https://eur06.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Flists.frameusers.com%2Flistinfo.cgi%2Fframers-frameusers.com&data=02%7C01%7C%7Cbec35d06bb5a463f5cb308d829abacbc%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637305164596000319&sdata=p5APOH0x3FGgxq0H6I18l%2FNfisvDWehkINh4lx6LxB8%3D&reserved=0 Send administrative questions to listad...@frameusers.com _______________________________________________ This message is from the Framers mailing list Send messages to framers@lists.frameusers.com Visit the list's homepage at http://www.frameusers.com Archives located at http://www.mail-archive.com/framers%40lists.frameusers.com/ Subscribe and unsubscribe at http://lists.frameusers.com/listinfo.cgi/framers-frameusers.com Send administrative questions to listad...@frameusers.com
