=========================== F R I E N D S H I P =========================== Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> ---------------------------------------------------------------- Well...selamat menikmati akhir pekan.. Salah satunya, bisa baca jokes ini, hehehe...B^) *** Jokes begi *** source: Salim S Inilah sejumlah perbedaan antara kantor dan penjara. Di penjara: dapat makan tiga kali sehari, gratis. Di kantor: makan sekali, bayar lagi. Di penjara: bisa bertemu dengan teman dan saudara. Di kantor: bahkan nelpon mereka aja tidak boleh. Di penjara: hidup Anda dibiayai dari pajak. Di kantor: Anda harus mengeluarkan sekian biaya untuk sampai ke kantor, gaji masih dipotong untuk bayar pajak. Di penjara: bisa nonton TV dan main games. Di kantor: bisa dipecat karena nonton TV dan main games. Di penjara: jika berkelakuan baik, Anda diberi hadiah kebebasan. Di kantor: jika berkelakuan baik, Anda diberi hadiah promosi plus tambahan pekerjaan. Di penjara: ada penjaga yang kadang-kadang sangat kejam dan sadis. Di kantor: mereka disebut manager. *** source: Cybercheeze [X] One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." So the guy says, "Well, give me some examples." So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me. Then she said, "The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either." Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?" He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock." [lubang kunci kok dijilat?? hehehe...] *** source: DAM [sorry buat yg udah baca, hehehe...] Saking udah bosannya keliling dunia, Gus Dur coba cari suasana di pesawat RI-01. Kali ini dia mengundang Presiden AS dan Perancis terbang bersama Gus Dur buat keliling dunia. Boleh dong, emangnya AS dan Perancis aja yg punya pesawat kepresidenan. Seperti biasa...setiap presiden selalu ingin memamerkan apa yang menjadi kebanggaan negerinya. Tidak lama presiden Amerika, Clinton mengeluarkan tangannya dan sesaat kemudian dia berkata : "wah kita sedang berada di atas New York!". Presiden Indonesia (Gus Dur): "lho kok bisa tau sih?". "Itu.. patung Liberty kepegang!" jawab presiden Amerika dengan bangganya. Ngga mau kalah presiden Perancis, Jacques Chirac, menjulurkan tangannya keluar. "Tau ngga...kita sedang berada di atas kota Paris..!". katanya dengan sombongnya. Presiden Indonesia : "wah.. kok bisa tau juga?" "Itu... Menara eiffel kepegang !" sahut presiden Perancis tersebut. Karena disombongin sama Clinton dan Chiraq, giliran Gus Dur menjulurkan tangannya keluar pesawat: "wah... kita sedang berada diatas Tanah Abang!". teriak presiden Indonesia sambil kecut. "Lho kok bisa tau sih ?" tanya kedua presiden yang lain yang heran, karena tahu Gus Dur itu kan nggak bisa ngeliat. "Ini... jam tangan saya ilang..." kata Gus Dur. *** source: Lisa Kay Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff. "Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?" "Well Sheriff,it's a long story." "I ain't going nowhere," said the Sheriff. "Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did. He continued, "We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. Then Mary Lou laid down on the ground and spread her legs apart and said 'Okay, Billy-Bob, go to town!' And, here I am Sheriff!" *** source: Rubin Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago." *** source: Hengky [X] Saptono sakit, dan berkunjung ke praktek seorang dokter. Kebetulan, dokter sedang keluar, tetapi juru rawatnya yang cantik dan seksi, Alice, mengatakan," Mungkin saya bisa menolong.Masuklah ke kamar periksa dan tanggalkan semua pakaian anda." Lima menit kemudian, Alice meletakkan tangannya yang halus ke tenggorokan Saptono, dan berkata,"Coba bilang : tiga puluh tiga pelan-pelan." " Ti - ga - pu - luh - ti - ga," kata Saptono. Juru rawat yang genit itu kemudian menjamah dada Saptono, dan mengulangi," Coba bilang :tiga puluh tiga pelan - pelan." " Ti - ga - pu - luh - ti - ga," kata Saptono Alice meletakkan tangannya ke perut Saptono, dan mengulangi perintahnya. Kembali Saptono mengucapkan, "Ti - ga - pu - luh - ti - ga," kata Saptono. Akhirnya, Alice memegang " barang" Saptono, dan mengulangi perintahnya.Saptono berbunyi," Satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima.........." *** source: Dina Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Bill says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says,"Where did you get that, Bill?" "Steve's wife gave it to me." "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?" Bill says, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow.'" She said, "'No, I'm not a widow." And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?" *** source: Rohmah We have all grown up knowing and loving the characters produced by Walt Disney and his successors at the Disney company. From Mickey Mouse to Aladdin, Disney has always given us something to laugh at, someone to cry for, something to hope for and a star to wish upon. Now, however, is has been the paragons of hope and happiness we always thought they were. Here, for the first time ever, are the TRUE fates of your favorite Disney characters: MICKEY MOUSE: died of venereal disease after visiting multiple prostitutes because MInnie said "No" for 50 years. MINNIE MOUSE: (see Mickey) DONALD DUCK: served as a main course at Epcot's China Pavillion. GOOFY: assasinated during the first term as President of the United States. PLUTO: caught by dogcatchers, put to sleep after he was never claimed. SCROOGE McDUCK: died in extreme poverty after being audited by the IRS..:-) HUEY, DEWEY & LOUIE: involved in an underground child pornography ring. CHIP & DALE: extracted from Richard Gere's colon. SNOW WHITE: fell for the old "apple trick" again SNEEZY: died of pneumonia with Jim Henson. GRUMPY: executed after gunning down 15 people in a local McDonald. HAPPY: killed by insane gunman at a local McDonald. DOC: was sued for malpractice, lived the rest of his life living under bridges and eating out of used cat food cans. SLEEPY: never woke up BASHFUL: now a stripper with the Chippendales. MARY POPPINS: shot down over Iraqui airspace. CHRISTOPHER ROBIN: male prostitute, died of a heroin overdose. WINNIE THE POOH: had a heart attack caused by a cholesterol level of 570. PIGLET: gunned down in a mafia hit. EEYORE: committed suicide. RABBIT: died of an aneurysm while watching over the garden. ROO: smothered to death by Kanga. KANGA: put to death by the state. ALICE (OF WONDERLAND): institutionalized for life. THE MAD HATTER: died of mercury poisoning. DORMOUSE: drowned in a teapot. THE QUEEN OF HEARTS: guillotined during the revolution TWEEDLEDEE & TWEEDLEDUM: died of excessive weight loss at a fat farm. SLEEPING BEAUTY: slept until 1986, contracted AIDS from "Prince Charming" CINDERELLA: killed by stepsisters and stepmother in a jealous rage. PINNOCCIO: is now a very comfortable Ottoman, JIMNY CRICKET: died after impacting a windshield at high Speeds. FIGARO: strung tightly on a Les Paul guitar. DUMBO: sucked into the engine of a Boeing 747. PETER PAN: Christopher Robin's lover, committed suicide in despair. TINKERBELL: caught by some kids who forgot to punch holes in the lid. BAMBI: shot by NRA member with AKA-47. His body was never found. BALOO: is now decorating the floor in front of a fireplace. MOWGLI: (see HUEY, DEWEY & LOUIE) LADY & THE TRAMP: sold to a Cantonese restaurant. 101 DALMATIANS: sold to the Ringling Bros. Circus, were eaten by lions. THE RESCUERS: involved in cancer research. TRON: someone pulled the plug out by accident. CAPTAIN EO: had a leak in his spacesuit. JESSICA RABBIT: backup singer for Guns N' Roses. THE LITTLE MERMAID: caught by Mrs. Paul's Inc. ALADDIN: was caught stealing one too many times, is now being traded nightly at Leavenworth for a pack of menthols. ABU: shot into space by NASA. *** End of Jokes *** - koh fahmi - ---------------------------------------------------------------- Friendship MailingList is provided by PT Centrin Utama Maintained by : [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Post a msg : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] . BODY : unsubscribe <Mailing List Name> For more information, send mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with "HELP" in the BODY of your mail (without quote). ----------------------------------------------------------------
