=========================== F R I E N D S H I P =========================== Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> ---------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry banget, jokesnya datang telat.... Komputer error, trus install win me, dan ternyata ada "chaos". Jadi balik lagi ke 98, hehehe...B^P Well...enjoy the jokes!! *** Jokes begin *** source: Alvin Setelah punya HP, coba simak ini supaya nggak kecurian. Tips menghindari pencurian HP Silakan disimak, semoga info ini berguna bagi rekan2, baik yg punya HP atau yg akan beli HP sbg bahan pertimbangan ... 1. Tangkap pencuri HP, gebukin rame-rame trus bawa ke kantor polisi. 2. Pasang alarm sensor suara, infra red, getaran, ultrasonik dsb, di sekitar HP. 3. Kamuflase HP, misalnya dibungkus daun pisang, biar dikira pepesan. 4. Pakailah HP Siemens S4 (atau yang bentuknya seperti itu), trus taruh didapur, pasti pencuri nyangka itu ulekan sambel. 5. Taruh HP di rumah, bawa pager, minta isteri kirim message lewat pager, supaya cepat-cepat pulang kalau HP-nya bunyi. 6. Beli HP mainan di lampu merah, pajang di dashboard mobil, HP yang betulan diumpetin. 7. Pakai HP 3 in 1, maksudnya satu HP untuk tiga orang, disamping irit, banyakyang ngejagain dan juga bermanfaat untuk menjalin kekompakan antar teman, karena kemana-mana harus sama-sama. 8. Pilihlah HP model one touch +ACY- one button, biar pencuri bingung makainya. Kalau HP model begininggak ada di pasaran, ya.. berarti memang belum diproduksi. 9. Pilihlah HP model lama yang ukurannya segede gajah. HP model begini akan gampang melacaknya, karena udah jarang yang punya. 10. Di rumah/komplek, bikin siskamling antara sesama pemilik HP. 11. Jangan pakai HP. Pasti pencurinya akan nyolong yang lainnya. Jadi ikhlasin aja TV, kulkas, perhiasan dll. buat dicolong. Yang penting'kan nggak kecolongan HP. 12. Minta sama tentara sedikit bahan peledak semtex (C4), letakkan didalam HP anda, biarkan dicuri orang. Tunggu berita di koran, mengenai mayat tanpa kepala, pasti itu pencuri HP. 13. Pilih jenis HP yang menggunakan kabel (non-wireless). *** source: Achmad Y A true story from the Japanese Embassy in US: Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton. The instructor told Mori " Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr Clinton should say "I am fine, and you ?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we translators will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is ... When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You ?". Mr Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor : "Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha ha..." Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha ha ha.." Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room. *** source: Sitti B TOP REASONS FOR BEING A HONG KONG PERSON... 1.We can spit anywhere we like. 2.Jackie Chan. 3.We get to live in 5'x 5' matchboxes passed off as apartments. 4.We get to pay $10,000 a month for these boxes. 5.We can visit Macau very weekend and get shot. 6.Our chidren can speak Cantonese at a young age. 7.We get to blame everything on Feng Shui... 8.or Tung Chee Hwa. TOP REASONS FOR BEING MALAYSIANS... 1.We have the world's tallest flagpole,highest office building, biggest pewter mug,largest roti canai,etc. etc. 2.We can be driving,picking our nose,cursing another driver,talking on the handphone, adjusting the radio and bribing the cop all at the same time. 3.We can save on a lot of electricity because our TV shows are so crappy. 4.We can blame everything on the Haze... 5.or on George Soros. 6.We have more water than Singapore...nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh... TOP REASONS FOR BEING SINGAPOREANS... 1.We are not Malaysians... 2.Everyone hates us except ourselves. 3.We have our own island. 4.Our 'chio chio' flight stewardessed get to wear 'chio-chio' uniforms. 5 .Orchard Road. 6.We know how to spell' Salvatore Ferragamo'. 7.We'll never ever have yucky gum stuck under our shoes. 8.We'll never ever have to worry about finding Mr or Ms Right coz the Government will find one for us! 9. 1 Sing Dollar = 2.4 Ringgit. nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh... TOP REASONS FOR BEING INDONESIANS... 1.We are not Australian. 2.We live in the biggest country in South East Asia. 3.We have the biggest number of citizens in South East Asia. 4.Everything is cheap, even our salaries 5.We can blame everything on Suharto... 6.or Habibie...or Gus Dur 7.or Baramuli...or Megawati 8.and Pande Silalahi... 9.or even Rudy Ramli... 10.Only in Indonesia can you get involved in the real demonstrations, daily, for different causes, and see no real results for all the demonstrations. But the rupiah will still go up and down like a yo-yo. *** source: Salim S Hanya sebuah informasi !!! SEBELUM DAN SETELAH PERNIKAHAN Untuk yang mau married ..... pikirkan baik-baik Pikirkan baik2 sebelum terlambat : Sebelum Pernikahan - "kau adalah hatiku , kau adalah cintaku" Setelah Pernikahan - "kau selalu menggangguku" Sebelum Pernikahan - "kau manis dan baik bagaikan Cinderella" Setelah Pernikahan - "kau menjengkelkan kaya' Gorilla " Sebelum Pernikahan - Makan malam selalu ke Shangri-La Setelah Pernikahan - Mau makan malam, Nanti-la Sebelum Pernikahan - Belanja di Sogo Setelah Pernikahan - Belanja di Makro Sebelum Pernikahan - Dia bagaikan Anita Sarawak Setelah Pernikahan - Kok jadi mirip biawak Sebelum Pernikahan - Akhir pekan di Resor Tampak Siring Setelah Pernikahan - Paling-paling ke Wisma Tampak Miring Sebelum Pernikahan - Dia selalu bukakan pintu mobil Setelah Pernikahan - Dia selalu buka mulut, mendengkur, sambil ngupil Sebelum Pernikahan - Dia sangat ideal Setelah Pernikahan - Dia selalu bikin kesal *** source: Non Cowok adalah sosok mahluk yang diciptakan untuk selalu optimis. Termasuk masalah jodoh dalam rangka ngedapetin pasangan hidup. Mungkin cerita-cerita di bawah ini bisa jadi bahan pemikiran buat cowok-cowok yang mo ngomong sama si cewek yang udah lama diincer. Yang penting... diingetin aja kalo cowok harus selalu optimis. OK .... ----------------------------------------------------------------- Roni : Aku suka sama kamu, Rin ....Aku pengin kamu jadi pacarku. Rina : (Malu-malu) Aku juga suka sama kamu, Ron. Artinya - Jelas si Rina suka sama si Roni, sampe ngomong terus terang gitu. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hendro: Nov, Aku bener-bener suka sama kamu. Aku pengin kita bisa jalan bareng. Novi : Kaya'nya kita lebih baik temenan aja,dech. Kita khan udah lama temenan. Artinya - Novi pun sebenarnya suka sama si Hendro. Staus "teman" hanya buat alasan aja buat si Novi biar bisa deket terus sama si Hendro. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Andri: Aku ngerasa cocok jalan sama kamu. Mau ngga' jadi pacarku, Wen? Wenny : Jangan sekarang deh ... Aku pengin konsentrasi study-ku dulu Artinya - Wenny suka sama si Andri, jawaban yang nggantung dan ngambang kaya' gitu maksudnya biar Andri penasaran dan tetep "stay around" si Wenny. Dengan gitu khan mereka bisa tetep deket. Andaikan si Wenny nggak suka, pasti ngomong terus terang sama Andri. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Roy : Kamu cakep dech, Lia ... Aku pengin pacaran sama kamu .... Lia : Terus terang ya, Roy ... Aku nggak suka sama kamu. Aku benci sama kamu. Kamu Egois, Kamu bau, Kamu urakan... Kamu cowok males ! Pokoknya aku benciii sama kamu !!! Artinya - Perhatian Lia gedhe sama Budi. Lia tau semua sifat-sifat Roy, sampe baunya segala. Ngga' banyak cewek yang perhatian kaya' gitu. Dan sangat mungkin itu artinya Lia aslinya suka sama Roy. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Indra : Aku udah lama merhatiin kamu, Yen... Aku suka en sayang banget sama kamu ... Yenni : (Tertawa lepas) Haa..ha..uahaaa..ha.. Lucu kamu, Dra ! Artinya - Betapa gembiranya Yenni mendengar ucapan Indra. Ekspresi tawa bahagia tiada tara. Jelas banget si Yenni suka sama sama si Indra, sampe dibilang kalo Indra lucu segala. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Yanto : Ria, ...Mau ngga' jadi pacarku ? Ria : Plak !! Plak !! (Ria "menyentuh" pipi si Yanto) Artinya - Yanto spesial buat Ria. "Sentuhan" tangan Ria ke pipi Yanto (sampe 2 X bahkan, ninggalin bekas merah lagi) adalah sentuhan yang ngga' semua cowok bisa ngerasain. Peluang besar buat Yanto bahwa Ria suka sama dia. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Bimo: Win, Wina ... Aku suka banget sama kamu. Pacaran Yuk ... Wina: Janc....!! ( sorry sensor , misuh.... ), Aku iki lanang, Mo ! Aku koncomu, WinaRNO !!! Eling, Mo....eling ... Aku WinaRNO..!! Artinya - Wina seneng sama Bimo. Masa' sampe ngaku-ngaku cowok segala. Ngotot lagi..! Wina ngaku cowok khan biar selalu bisa santai dan deket sama Bimo. ----------------------------------------------------------------- KESIMPULAN: Jadi jawaban apapun yang nantinya diberikan sama si cewek,... peluang selalu ada dan ngga' pernah ketutup. So .. Tetap Semangat. *** source: Cybercheeze [X] A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?" The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?" The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?" === [X] A guy gets his penis severed in a car accident. When he wakes up in the hospital, he rings for the doctor. The doctor comes in and tells him what happened. "So what are my options?" the patient asks. "You have two options - we can sew your penis back on, but it will cost you about a million dollars. Or, we can sew on a baby elephant's trunk. It will look a bit different, but it will feel the same and that will only cost about a thousand dollars." The guy says, "Well, I'm low on cash so I'll have to go with the elephant trunk." About two weeks later, the guy is out to dinner with some friends, when all of a sudden the trunk comes up from under the table, grabs a biscuit, then returns back under the table. The guy thinks, "God, I hope nobody saw that!" About five minutes later, the trunk comes up and grabs another biscuit. This time the guy's friends see it. "Holy smokes! What on earth was that?" his friends ask. So the guy tells them the story of the accident and the surgery. "Wow, that's awesome! Can you do that again?" they ask. The guy says, "Well, I probably could, but I don't think my butt could take another biscuit!" *** End of Jokes *** - koh fahmi - ---------------------------------------------------------------- Friendship MailingList is provided by PT Centrin Utama Maintained by : [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Post a msg : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] . BODY : unsubscribe <Mailing List Name> For more information, send mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with "HELP" in the BODY of your mail (without quote). ----------------------------------------------------------------
