=========================== F R I E N D S H I P =========================== Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> ---------------------------------------------------------------- Jokes ini diperuntukkan buat yg lagi be-te....'kali aja, hehehe...B^P Enjoy!! *** Jokes begin *** source: Ivan Ada 3 orang pemuda sedang membicarakan tentang keberanian mereka menyetir mobil sendirian. pemuda 1 : wah waktu itu saya pulang dari Jakarta jam 10.00 malam sendirian pemuda 3 : wah hebat donk! pemuda 2 : wah itu sih masih kecil, gue jam 11.00 malam aja masih berani! pemuda 1 : wah kalah donk gue! pemuda 3 : (bingung apa yang mo diceritain) akhirnya ia bercerita, wah kalau begitu kalian masih kalah ama gue, gue pulang dari Bogor ke Bandung jam 12.00 naik mobil lampunya gak gue nyalain pemuda 1,2 : wah hebat donk, gimana caranya? pemuda 3 : (dengan enteng), ngapain juga gue nyalain lampu mobil orang masih jam 12.00 siang kok!!! *** source: Antox' Badrun menjadi tersangka dalam peristiwa penamparan yang dilakukan secara sengaja dan ceto melo-melo alias tertangkap basah. Hakim : karena anda bersalah menampar saudara Kaldun maka anda dijatuhi hukuman ( ganti rugi ) tamparan sebanyak anda menampar saudara Kaldun. Badrun : ya... kalau sekiranya saya bersalah ...ya hukuman tersebut terpaksa saya terima, tapi ada satu permintaan bapak hakim, saya minta waktu beberapa saat untuk dapat mempersiapkan diri menerima hukuman tamparan tersebut. Hakim : ooo,....silakan saya hargai permintaanmu. Sesaat kemudian Badrun pergi ke toilet untuk persiapan.....( be'ol maksudnya ) Tapi setelah di tunggu Badrun tidak nongol-nongol, karena Kaldun sudah tidak sabar, kemudian Kaldun menghampiri bapak Hakim.....dan plak ! plak ! plak ! PLAK ! muka pak hakim ditampar oleh Kaldun...... Kaldun : maaf pak hakim karena saya terburu-buru, saya harap pak hakim minta ganti rugi tamparan sama si Badrun...ok ?! Kemudian Kaldun dengan entengnya pergi ngeloyor keluar sidang. Hakim : ....!!??? *** source: Hafid [X] Ada ibu baru datang dari daerah. ibu itu naik kereta api turun di stasiun Manggarai. Terus ibu naik metromini jurusan Manggarai-Rawamangun. Ditengah jalan naik anak kuliah,dan enngak lama lagi naik anak smp. Terus anak kuliah turun di Ikip bayar Rp 200,dan enggak lama lagi anak smp turun bayar Rp 100. Sampai di terminal Rawamangun si ibu turun dan dia bayar Rp 50. Lalu si kernet marah-marah dan dia bilang sama si ibu. kernet : ibu ini kurang masak Rp 50 ongkosnya tambahin bu. ibu : anak kul tadi Rp 200 ongkosnya dan anak smp Rp 100 yang pakai ceana pendek. kernet : bengong ibu :aku kan (diangkat roknya) ternyata si ibu nggak pakai celana dalam. *** source: lupa ngetik....B^P Microsoft's Mobnas *If Microsoft Built Cars* 1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car. 2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, accept this, restart and drive on. 3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too. 4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads. 6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower. 7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light. 8. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years. 9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the packaging would be superb. 10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 11. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened. 13. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side- valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it. 14. There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads. 15. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes.Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff. 16. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, ncluding IBM! 17. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads! 18. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it. 19. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked. 20. You would need to by an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other. *** source: idem...lupa... In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning??" *** source: Lucky Man [X] One bright Sunday morning Cindy and Mark took their eight year old son, Johnny, to church. They sat right in the front so Johnny could get all the benefits from church. But as we know eight year old boys do not like church at all. Especially little Johnny. Halfway through the pastor's sermon Johnny fell asleep. The pastor noticed this, and it was distracting him from preaching. He decided to go over to Johnny and ask him a question about God. "Son, do you know who created all the heavens and earth?" His mother, Cindy, who did not want to be embarrassed by her son falling asleep, suck a pin in her son's right butt cheek. "GOD!!!!" Cried little Johnny. "Very good," the pastor replied. For he could not say it was wrong. And he continued on. But a short while later, Johnny fell asleep again. The pastor once again noticed this and decided to ask another question "Who was Mary and Joseph's son?" The pastor asked. Johnny's dad, Mark, did not want to be embarrassed either, so he stuck a pin in his son's left butt cheek. "JESUS CHRIST!!!!" Yelled Johnny. And once again the pastor replied "Very good." Near the end of the church service, Johnny could not control himself and fell asleep again. For the last time, the pastor decided to embarrass him and ask a very hard question. "What did Eve say to Adam on the morning when they woke up on the first day?" But before Johnny's parents could do anything Johnny shouted "IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO TAKE IT AND BREAK IT IN HALF! *** source: Leo Di suatu perempatan jalan seperti biasa ada tulisan "Lurus..jalan terus! Saya..berhubung mau lurus..ya tancap gas lagi agak dalam... eeehhh tiba-tiba sepeda motor didepan saya tiba-tiba menginjak rem secara mendadak..soalnya terdengar berdecit-2. Saya tentu langsung banting stir agak kekiri untuk menghindari tabrakan,maklum jalanan agak padat. Saya langsung buka jendela dan mengumpat pada si pengemudi tersebut "heh mas...gimana sih! kan itu ada tulisannya kalo lurus jalan terus!.."sambil sedikit melotot tentu.. Si pengemudi tersebut kelihatan dengan wajah tak berdosa seperti mau minta maaf...dia membuka helm nya.."tapi pak...saya kan keriting..." *** source: Heru Heaven and Hell --------------- Heaven: A British home. Indonesian food. A Japanese wife. An American salary. Hell: A Japanese home. British food. An American wife. An Indonesian salary. Heaven is where the Lovers are Italian, the Engineers are German, the Police are British, and it is all managed by the Swiss. Hell is where the Lovers are Swiss, the Engineers are British, the Police are German, and it is all managed by the Italians! *** source: TeDDy ***************************************************** >From : Managing Director To : Executive Director "Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o'clock. This is something which we cannot see everyday. So let the work-force line up outside, in their best clothes to watch it." "To mark the occasion of this rare occurrence, I will personally explain the phenomenon to them. If it is raining we will not be able to see it very well and in that case the work force should assemble in the canteen." >From : Executive Director To : Departmental Head "By order of the Managing Director, there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o' clock tomorrow morning. If it is raining we will not be able to see it in our best clothes, on the site. In this case the disappearance of the sun will be followed through in the canteen. This is something we cannot see happening everyday." >From : Departmental Heads To : Sectional Heads "By order of the Managing Director, we shall follow the disappearance of the sun in our best clothes, in the canteen at nine o' clock tomorrow morning. The Managing Director will tell us whether it is going to rain. This is something which we cannot see happen everyday." >From : Section Heads To : Foreman "If it is raining in the canteen tomorrow morning, which is something that we cannot see happen everyday, the Managing director in his best clothes, will disappear at nine o' clock." >From : Foreman To : All Operators "Tomorrow morning at nine o' clock, the Managing Director will disappear. It's a pity that we can't see this happen everyday" *** End of Jokes *** - koh fahmi - ---------------------------------------------------------------- Friendship MailingList is provided by PT Centrin Utama Maintained by : [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Post a msg : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] . BODY : unsubscribe <Mailing List Name> For more information, send mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with "HELP" in the BODY of your mail (without quote). ----------------------------------------------------------------
