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Original Sender  : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Selamat libur PUANJAAAAAAAAAANGGGGG...!! :-)

*** Jokes begin ***

source: Chocky

Dalam sebuah pesta perkawinan setelah melewati protokoler yang melelahkan
hingga hampir larut malam, maka pasangan pengantinpun pamitan kepada sanak
keluarga yang masih ngobrol beserta para kerabat lainnya, dengan perasaan
malu ( malu-maluin ) mereka pun masuk kekamar, sementara itu dikamar
sebelahnya penghuni kamarnya sedang menunggu kelanjutan aksi kedua pengantin
:

Suara pengantin pria ( P ) : Aduh... capek sekali badanku rasanya pegel
begini.
Suara pengantin Wanita ( W ) : Aku juga capek sekali, mau malam ini
juga..........?
P > Tentu aja, kalau begitu aku ganti pakaian dahulu....
W>  Aku juga mau ganti pakaian dahulu ..............

Sementara yang dikamar sebelah mulai panas dingin mendengarkan percakapan
tersebut.

W> Kita dibawah saja, dikasi alas kain biar ngak lari-lari.
P>  Iya biar ngak ketahuan tetangga sebelah....

W> Abang aja yang buka.
P> Oke, sekarang abang buka, tapi kamu bantuin juga dong..?

W> Aduh bang kok keras sekali.
P> Iya biasa kan belum terbuka semua.

W> Aduh bang........
P>  Ada apa......?

W> Ada darah nya......
P>  Ambil tisue dan bersihkan.....

Tetangga disebelah makin asyik aja dengernya.....

W> Pelan-pelan aja bang, pakai dua tangan aja biar lebih cepat.
P>  Sudah hampir terbuka, sudah kelihatan tonjolannya ....!!

W> Dicoba pakai jari bang...........
P >  Ngak ah...langsung kemulut aja..........

Tetangga disebelah sudah ngaceng semua......

W> Udah kebuka semua bang ngimana kalau sekarang sama-sama kita bang.
P> Nanti dulu.... coba nikmati baunya ....... !

W> Bau nya harum bang...... dimana abang belinya....?
P> Kebetulan ada keluarga datang dari kampung, kan kebetulan disana lagi
musim durian..... ( kiranya pengantinnya lagi buka buah Durian )

Tetangga :................. !!!!!!!!!!!!

[pantesaaannn si Rifi suka buka DUREN...!!heehehehehhe....]

***

source: Daily Jokes

Man goes to see the Rabbi.

"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to
talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's
poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her,
I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I
spoke to your wife.  I spoke to her on the phone for three
hours.  You want my advice?"

The man anxiously says, "Yes."

"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

===

It was the last day of the school year, and Miss Figpot was
talking to her fourth grade class.   She asked "What will
you be doing this summer?"

"Me and my family will go to the beach a lot," Suzie
answered.  "That sounds like fun," said Miss Figpot.
"How about you, Emma?  What will you do this summer?"
"My family just bought new bikes we will ride together."
Emma replied enthusiastically.

"That sounds lovely," said the teacher.  She continued with
all her students until she got to Little Johnny in the back
of the room.

"What will you do this summer, Johnny?"
"Nothing," Little Johnny responded timidly.
"Nothing?  Aren't you going to do anything with your
family?" she asked, trying to get Little Johnny to use his
imagination.

"Nothing."  He replied
"Will you go to the beach?"
"No."
"Will you ride bikes?"
"No, never!"  Little Johnny burst out.  "We can never ride
bikes together!"

"Why not?" said the shocked Miss Figpot.

"I don't know," explained Little Johnny, "But dad always
says, when mom and sis start 'cycling together', it's
time to get the hell out of town."

===

A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe
problems with his sex life.  The psychiatrist asked him a
lot of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear
picture of the problems.

Finally, he asked, "Do you ever watch your girlfriend's
face while you're having sex?"

"Well, yes, I did once."

"Well, how did she look?"

"Oh boy, she looked VERY angry!"

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really
getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very
interesting, we must look into this further.  Now
tell me, you say that you have only seen your
girlfriend's face once during sex; that seems
somewhat unusual.  How did it occur that you
saw her face that time?"

"She was watching us through the window."

***

source: Wahyu

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Fcuknig amzanig huh?

***

source: Denny

Seorang supir asal Jawa menabrak sebuah mobil, saat pergi dengan boss-
nya. Dengan terbata-bata si Sopir minta maaf kepada si boss yang
orang Inggris:
"Sorry Sir, I brake brake, do not eat. After I Check, the wheel no
flower again " (maaf pak saya rem-rem nggak makan, setelah saya cek
rodanya nggak ada kembangannya lagi)

Begitu si Boss mau ikutan ribut sama yg ditabrak, si supir tersebut
berkata
"Don"t follow mix Sir! The bring that car if not wrong is the
children fruit from manager moneys, he stupid doesn"t play! let know
taste"
(Nggak usah ikut campur Pak, yang bawa mobil itu kalo nggak salah
anak buah dari manajer keuangan, dia memang goblok bukan main, biar
tahu rasa)

Besoknya si supir tidak masuk kerja, terus pas lusanya dia masuk si
boss bule bertanya, "Why you"re not coming?" Jawab si supir," I am
sorry boss, my body is not delicious, my body taste like enter the
wind" (maaf boss badan saya tidak enak, badan saya rasanya seperti
masuk angin)

"I really don"t know what"s your point!" kata bossnya

"yes.. how yes?.... I am alone migrain Sir will how the speak , but
yes already, how many-how many people Java can speak England"
(puyeng Pak mau bagaimana ngomongnya, tapi yo uwis lah.. piro-piro
wong jowo iso ngomong Inggris..)

*** End of Jokes ***

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