Hi Guys It is not my practice to send on forwards but I personally found this one damed funny. I am forwarding it to a selected group of of my friends who I think have a exceptional good sense of humor, or at least I think we see humor in the same things.
JoAnn ----- Original Message ----- From: Holly Irving <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: JoAnn & Irving <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; Jan Fullerton <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 5:34 PM Subject: Fwd: FW: Loco Government > > >j > >j > >j > > > >j > >This is a copy of an actual letter sent to Ryan DeVries, from the > >Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. > >Wait till you read this guy's response - but read the entire letter > >before you get to the response. > > > > > >Mr. Ryan DeVries > >2088 Dagget > >Pierson, MI 49339 > > > >SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; > > > >Site Location: Montcalm County > > > >Dear Mr. DeVries: > > > >It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality > >that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced > >parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or > >contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and > >maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring > >Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A > >review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. > > > >Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in > >violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and > >Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being > >sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. > > > >The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially > >failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream > >locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and > > > >cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and > >desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a > >free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the > >stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than > >January > >31, 2002. > > > >Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so > >that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to > >comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site > >may > >result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. > > > >We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. > >Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions. > > > >Sincerely, > >David L. Price District Representative > >Land and Water Management Division > > > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > > > > >RESPONSE > > > >Dear Mr. Price, > > > >Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; > >Montcalm County > > > >Your certified letter dated 12/17/2000 has been referred to me to > >respond to. > > > >First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner and/or > >contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. > > > >I am the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State > >unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood > >"debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While > >I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I > >think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use > >of natural building materials "debris." > > > >I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their > >dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely > >state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam > >resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam > >determination and/or their dam work ethic. > > > >As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must > >first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. > > > >My first dam question to you is (1) Are you trying to discriminate > >against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout > >this > >State to conform to said dam request? > > > >If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through > >the Freedom of Information Act I request completed copies of all those other > >applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see > >if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, > >of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the > >Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101to 324.30113 of the Michigan > >Compiled Laws, annotated. > > > >I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the beavers > >entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially > >destitute > >and are unable to pay for said representation - so the State will have to > >provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one > > > >or > >both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof > >that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to > >protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone > >rather than > >harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream > >"restored" to a dam free-flow condition - please contact the beavers - but > >if you > >are going to arrest them they obviously did not pay any attention to your > >dam letter being unable to read English. > > > >In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build > >their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and > >water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I do to live and enjoy > >Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental > >Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources > >(Beavers) > >and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are > >concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement > >action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2002 The Spring Pond Beavers may be > >under > >the dam ice then, and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to > >contact/harass them then. > > > >In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real > >environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears. Bears > >are > >actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be > >persecuting > >the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to > >investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful > >where they > >dump!) > > > >Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact > >you > >on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam > >office via another government organization - the dam USPS. Maybe, someday, > >it > >will get there. > > > >Sincerely, > >Stephen L. Tvedten > >The University of Texas > >at: Austin Office Community Relations/Accounting Unit > >P.O. Box 7367 > >Austin, TX 78713 > > > > > >_________________________________________________________________ > >Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > ----------------------------------------------------------------- Fundy Forum listserver is dedicated to providing a forum for Bay of Fundy Issues. List moderator: Maxine Westhead Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Phone:(902)426.4215 On-line Archiving: <http://www.fundyforum.com/listserver/main_archive.htm> Post message: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> List-Unsubscribe:<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
