I like to put all code on one line. Stay away from cfinclude, just paste
the code in there. An ideal web application should just be 1 line of code
:). No problems with whitespace there.
hehehh
-----Original Message-----
From: Jeremy Allen [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2000 11:26 AM
To: Fusebox
Subject: RE: How To Write Unmaintainable Code
That is just tooo easy.
<!--- crude (humor?) follows --->
Okay first you want to name your variables illogical
names likes.
My favorite is the sequential naming scheme
Sstart with var1, var2, etc. Never use anything but these
names.
Next you want to obscure the case of your tags like this
"<cfOuTpUt>#vAr78#</CfOuTpUT>"
Also dont ever indent anything (I mean anything)
Never use comments (real programmers dont need comments)
Make sure you do really cool undocumented feautres of your
language to totally throw off even the best developers
Obscure code as much as possible. Instead of the wimpy
Find function turn that sucker into a full 100 column regular
expression. (such as stuff from CF Administrator never document
the use of these cool functions, its just way to cool to throw
everyone off)
Definately name files really hard to understand names..
Such as a Page that contains queries you could just call
this "foojunk.cfm" and everyone will "understand" what
your talking about
(Throw some control chracters in there to add to the
unmanageability of your code, its really exciting to mess
with others)
Even when it does not make sense include as much code in one template
as you can, always always make the action page the page it self
that way you can cram even more code into one template to even
further obscure the templates purpose in life. (FuseBox?! hah!!)
Now this is one of my most favorite tricks so make sure to use this
as often as possible. Use conditional loops as often as possible
hanging up CF threads is quite entertaining. The Server Administrator
will most likely have very colorful language and become quite agitated
as a result, this often makes your day much more interesting.
Another little tip mix your CFML and HTML as much as possible. This
mixture will make HTML and CFML more friendly to one another. This will
Possibly appeasing the web gods if your overall coding Zen level
is high enough.
Make sure to add in artifacts that make code reuse impossible (people
need to write there own stuff right???!)
Make sure to test your display code with only one platform (everyone should
use what I use, my way is the only way (not to mention the best way))
Make sure to fit as much of your SQL on one line as possible. Always
make the SQL as verbose as possible.
Make sure to use a pound sign in EVERY place possible.
Never use error handling (those cool CF error messages always enhance the
clients overall experience with software) Errors also give you something
to do later.
Hey if you are good with C/C++ go ahead and write as much of your
code in C/C++ as possible, it runs faster, and youll most likely
be the only one who can maintain the code.
Make sure to do things the most processor intensive way possible
use IIF all over the place, this will make the processor
have more to do so that it will not get so lonely nor bored.
Follow these simple guidelines and im most certain you will find
programming to be a much easier task than ever before
<!--- End scary stuff --->
Hehe btw, please oh please dont take any of that seriously ;)
And yes I have seen almost all of these at some point in coding
CF so these are mostly real world examples.
Jeremy Allen
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Johnston [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2000 6:46 AM
To: Fusebox
Subject: RE: How To Write Unmaintainable Code
It just so happens that I am doing a talk on "Documentation in Cold Fusion"
to the UKCFUG. If anyone would like me to give you some ideas of how to
write unmaintainable CF code, I will put them up on Friday (ie after the
talk).
If anyone would like to add any ideas, then please email me (or the list -
we could do with a laugh). Real world situations would be appreciated even
more!
Paul
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