Forwarded from Sid Shniad <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>:
Hello, fellow Canadian!!! You have been selected to participate in our new
program! Please read below to find out about this special offer!!!
Ottawa, Ontario (Southam) -- In an 169-21 vote, the House of Commons
approved legislation Monday establishing PlatinumPlus Preferred
citizenship, an exciting new program offering special benefits and discounts
to select Canadian citizens.
"By becoming a PlatinumPlus citizen, you join an exclusive club of elite
Canadians," said Prime Minister Chretien, late Monday. "And as part of
that club, you'll be eligible for many special benefits, including tax breaks,
excusal from jury duty, and vacations at special PlatinumPlus Caribbean
resorts, which are off-limits to ordinary, EconoBudget citizens. It's our way
of saying thank you to our best customers."
"And, of course," Chretien added, "there are never any annual fees."
PlatinumPlus citizens -- selected according to a number of demographic
factors, including age, race and socio-economic status -- will enjoy a wide
variety of other benefits, including immunity from speeding tickets;
separate, no-wait lines at over 10,000 post office locations nationwide; and
wider, more comfortable window seating on all Canadian airlines.
After just one year in the club, members can also begin earning extra votes
for elections. "Wouldn't you like to earn up to five bonus votes for the next
federal election?" said Michael Walker, of the Fraser Institute, whose
group enthusiastically wrote the new legislation,"With your new
PlatinumPlus citizenship, you can."
According to Chretien, those at the highest level of the new program, or
"Diamond Club" citizens, will enjoy additional rewards, including a pass
good for acquittal from one crime (civil or criminal), a no-interest credit
line of up to $500,000 and, for able-bodied male PlatinumPlus members
between ages 18 and 35, excusal from the draft should a foreign war arise
which requires our peace keeping skills.
Above: PlatinumPlus citizens Conrad Black (Toronto) and Barbara Amiel
(London) enjoy a round of golf in a members-only, walled-in golfing
facility in Toronto, undisturbed by the surrounding war zone of urban
poverty.
Gordon Alarie, CEO of the Montreal-based Integrated Systems
Management Group, was among the first to receive a PlatinumPlus
citizenship offer in the mail. "As CEO and founder of a Fortune 500
corporation, I've contributed a great deal to Canada over the years," Alarie
said. "It's nice to know that now, with the PlatinumPlus Preferred
citizenship program, I'll finally start getting something back."
Rosalyn Murcheson Biddle, a Vancouver, art collector, was also extended
an offer to join. "The PlatinumPlus-only express lanes on the highways are
nice, and so are the unlimited drinks," Biddle said. "But what I really like is
the program's Gold Circle Premium Health Care package, which gets me
access to the finest medical care anywhere. It's nice to know that if I ever
get too wrapped up in a car-phone conversation and hit another vehicle,
emergency workers arriving on the scene will prioritize my injuries over
those of any other people who may have been hurt."
Chretien stressed that those not eligible for PlatinumPlus citizenship will
still enjoy the many benefits of regular Canadian citizenship, including one
free vote in each election, a court-appointed lawyer if arrested, and a
number of fully guaranteed constitutional rights, including freedom of
speech and assembly.
"To our nation's EconoBudget citizens, I want to assure you that you will
still get the same great service from your government that you always
have," Chretien said. "The postal delivery, the voting, the old age pension
cheques -- it's all still part of the basic citizenship package. And while, yes,
a few certain special privileges will be off limits to you, that should in no
way make you feel like a second-class citizen. Remember, we are all
Canadians here, no matter how poorly or well we are treated."
Jay -- http://dieoff.org/page1.htm
-----------------------------------------------------
Sustainable development both improves quality of life
and retains continuity with physical conditions. To
do both requires that social systems be equitable and
physical systems circular.
-----------------------------------------------------
