| KNOW YOURSELF > Finding Your
Authentic Self |
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In Tara Bennett-Goleman's book,
Emotional
Alchemy, she identifies 10 emotional styles that we all can identify.
Your emotional style is your instinctive emotional reaction to situations. It's
important to identify your emotional style, Tara adds, because it could be
hurting your relationships, and ultimately keeping you from living your best
life.
What's Your Emotional Style?Most
people can identify with at least one of these emotional styles. Read each of
the following groups of questions, and then begin to discover your own emotional
style:
| 1. |
Did you have a loss early in life that makes you fear losing
people? |
| Do you cling to people or push them away because you're afraid of
losing them? |
| In relationships, are you so obsessed with the fear you'll be left,
that you push people away? |
Your emotional style
could be
Abandonment.Read
more about Abandonment.
| 2. |
Do you find yourself irritated when someone keeps you from doing what
you want? |
| Do you feel that you are somehow special, and the rules don't apply to
you? |
Your emotional style could be
Entitlement.Read
more about Entitlement.
| 3. |
Are you drawn to people who control you or make decisions for
you? |
| Do you feel guilty about having needs or wants of your own? |
| Do you feel resentful when your needs or wishes aren't
considered? |
Your emotional style could be
Subjugation.Read
more about Subjugation.
| 4. |
When you were young, were you made to feel that you didn't belong in
some way? |
| Do you tend to feel like an outsider in a group? |
| Are you shy and self-conscious in social
situations? |
Your emotional style could be
Exclusion. Read
more about Exclusion.
| 5. |
Do you feel people can't be trusted? |
| As a child, were you treated unfairly or abused? |
| Do you feel that people you are close to will betray your
trust? |
Your emotional style could be
Mistrust. Read
more about Mistrust.
| 6. |
As a child, were you put down or made to feel inept? |
| Do you fear you won't succeed at anything, no matter how hard you
try? |
| Do you feel that you don't deserve the success you've
had? |
Your emotional style could be
Failure. Read
more about Failure.
| 7. |
Do you feel that if people knew the "real" you, they would see that
you're flawed? |
| Do you feel a sense of shame that keeps you from letting people get
close? |
| Are you drawn to people who are critical and rejecting of
you? |
Your emotional style could be
Unlovability. Read
more about Unlovability.
| 8. |
Do you hold yourself to the highest standards, but feel it's never
good enough? |
| When you were young, were you made to feel you could always do better,
no matter what you accomplished? |
| Do your relationships or health suffer because you push yourself too
hard? |
Your emotional style could be
Perfectionism. Read
more about Perfectionism.
| 9. |
Do you often feel that people don't really care about your needs or
tune into your feelings? |
| Do you often find yourself in a caretaker role with others? |
| Are you drawn to relationships with people who are cold, or
self-absorbed? |
Your emotional style could be
Deprivation. Read
more about Deprivation.
| 10. |
Do you often have the fear that something bad will happen to you or a
loved one? |
| Do your fears keep you from doing things that you would like? |
| Are you overly preoccupied with worries about health or
finances? |
Your emotional style could be
Vulnerability. Read
more about Vulnerability.
