Gay marriages groom anti-Aids battleAdd to Clippings
PRATHIMA NANDAKUMAR

TIMES NEWS NETWORK
[ SATURDAY, AUGUST 28, 2004 09:47:40 PM ]
VADODARA: Married in both Hindu and Muslim traditions, Hanif and Zubair — in their early 20s — may draw flak from society. But in the gay community, they are treated as role models. Admired for their commitment to a single partner, the couple is also spearheading the HIV prevention campaign of Lakshya, an NGO working for homosexuals' rights.

 
Hanif and Zubair are Vadodara's one of the many same sex couples, who have dared to exchange vows. The couple had a 'nikah' ceremony attended by friends and well-wishers. And for the Hindu ceremony, they brought in a pandit.

Lakshya Trust project officer Sylvester Merchant says, "In four years, we have facilitated at least 15 gay marriages and soon hope to introduce a gay couple club to extend emotional support. Gay marriages are a boon as the group is already at a high risk of contracting Aids. The marriages will promote single-partner sex, which will help the HIV prevention campaign."

Although such marriages don't have legal sanction, activists believe rituals can have a dual impact. On the one hand it sends a message to society that they have equal rights and on the other, it is an indication to other gays that the couple is 'going steady'.

Come September, another gay couple — Sandeep (21) and Raj (28) — will tie the knot. And this Hindu marriage ceremony will be attended by at least 200 guests. "I am busy making the guest list for my wedding, which will be held at a nearby resort. My fiancé's mother loves me, but I am worried about convincing my mother. However, we have decided to rent out a house after marriage," says Sandeep, an MCom student.

Accepting one's own sexuality and creating an enabling environment was not easy for Sandeep. "At 10, I discovered I was attracted to men. By the time I was a teenager, I was having sex with men. I met Raj at a gay party," says Sandeep. For Marasim (21), his marriage with Rohan (22) will be his way of showing society that they will be together. Taunts from parents, denial of one's own sexuality and emotional turmoil pushed

Marasim out of his house. "I confided in my mother about my sexual preference. Though my family did not accept me, they did not want to force me into marrying a girl. But Rohan, who is studying engineering in Ahmedabad, does not want to reveal his sexuality to his parents. He will move to Vadodara, take up a job and marry me," says Marasim. The only thing the couples hope for is acceptance from society.

(Some names have been changed)
 
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‘I am proud, I am gay’Add to Clippings
LEKHA MENON

TIMES NEWS NETWORK
[ MONDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2001 09:27:33 PM ]
 
The cover page is startling. It shows two men, dressed in royal finery, kissing. Inside, the writing is big, bold and clear. “Mane garv che ke hoon gay choo” (I am proud, I am gay), declares the writer. Leaf through the remaining pages of the thin booklet and what one sees are glimpses of a subtle, yet forceful undercurrent of a sexual revolution taking place in the cultural capital of Gujarat. In the process, also revealing the ‘other side’ of the banyan city. The gay community, always counted among the ‘marginalised’ sections of society, is seeking to break age-old taboos. And providing them a platform to express their feelings is ‘Lakshya’, Gujarat’s only gay magazine being published from Vadodara. Brought out by the Lakshya trust, a city-based NGO working for gays in Vadodara and Surat, the magazine is all set to become the Gujarati version of Bombay Dost, when it will be available for circulation shortly. Call it a movement or even a revolution, Lakshya is being seen by the gay community as a small step in the long battle against prejudice, stigma and insecurities that have always plagued them. Spearheading the movement is Sylvester Merchant, a 22-year old activist from Rajpipla, now settled in Vadodara. The brain behind Lakshya — the organisation and the magazine — is remarkably unassuming, but has provided inspiration to hundreds of gays across the state to come out in the open. The obstacles are aplenty, though Vadodara, with its supposedly liberal and ‘gay-friendly’ attitude provides a perfect platform for the community, to take such a bold step. According to sources, the gay sub-culture is most active in Vadodara, more than any other city in Gujarat. Apart from meeting, socialising and sex activities (there are reportedly 28 cruising sites in the city), it has a ‘happening’ party scene too. All of course, under wraps and cloaked in mystery. Even so, the stigmas, dilemmas and opposition (at least in the middle and lower sections of society), faced by homosexuals, is immense. Lakshya’s objective is to help such gays feel confident about their sexuality. “A time has come where we can talk of gay rights openly,” says Merchant. “Through Lakshya, we hope to make small, yet significant changes for the community and encourage them to fight social pressures, harassment and abuse.” The magazine is a small, albeit important part of Lakshya’s activities, which include counselling, AIDS awareness and other projects. Not surprisingly, Ashok Row Kavi’s Humsafar Trust and Bombay Dost are a huge inspiration. “Bombay Dost reassured me that homosexuality is not ‘abnormal’. We then thought of starting a similar one for gays in Gujarat too,” says Merchant. Incidentally, the first edition of the magazine was brought out almost a year ago, a few months after the first gay conference of Gujarat held in Rajpipla last July. While the first volume was more of a compilation of newspaper reports and information, the new edition is much more professional. Apart from translations and comments on news relating to gays, it also carries articles and poems written by gays and heterosexuals. Though it will be distributed only within the community, Merchant says a change in attitude is slowly creeping in. “Gays in the city are still an insecure lot, but now a few of them are willing to open up.” And the change, though understated, can be seen. As S V, a hardware businessman and editor of Lakshya says, “I have accepted my sexuality and want to encourage others to do the same. It is difficult, but better than leading a double life.” A double life is what most MSMs (men having sex with men) are forced to lead, in a society which neither gives the legal nor moral sanction for homosexuality. And Lakshya aims to show gays some direction in a ‘straight’ world.


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