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Gay marriages groom anti-Aids battle  PRATHIMA NANDAKUMAR
TIMES NEWS NETWORK[ SATURDAY, AUGUST 28, 2004 09:47:40 PM
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VADODARA: Married in both Hindu and Muslim
traditions, Hanif and Zubair — in their early 20s — may draw flak
from society. But in the gay community, they are treated as role
models. Admired for their commitment to a single partner, the couple
is also spearheading the HIV prevention campaign of Lakshya, an NGO
working for homosexuals' rights.
Hanif and Zubair are
Vadodara's one of the many same sex couples, who have dared to
exchange vows. The couple had a 'nikah' ceremony attended by friends
and well-wishers. And for the Hindu ceremony, they brought in a
pandit. Lakshya Trust project officer Sylvester Merchant
says, "In four years, we have facilitated at least 15 gay marriages
and soon hope to introduce a gay couple club to extend emotional
support. Gay marriages are a boon as the group is already at a high
risk of contracting Aids. The marriages will promote single-partner
sex, which will help the HIV prevention campaign." Although
such marriages don't have legal sanction, activists believe rituals
can have a dual impact. On the one hand it sends a message to
society that they have equal rights and on the other, it is an
indication to other gays that the couple is 'going steady'.
Come September, another gay couple — Sandeep (21) and Raj
(28) — will tie the knot. And this Hindu marriage ceremony will be
attended by at least 200 guests. "I am busy making the guest list
for my wedding, which will be held at a nearby resort. My fiancé's
mother loves me, but I am worried about convincing my mother.
However, we have decided to rent out a house after marriage," says
Sandeep, an MCom student. Accepting one's own sexuality and
creating an enabling environment was not easy for Sandeep. "At 10, I
discovered I was attracted to men. By the time I was a teenager, I
was having sex with men. I met Raj at a gay party," says Sandeep.
For Marasim (21), his marriage with Rohan (22) will be his way of
showing society that they will be together. Taunts from parents,
denial of one's own sexuality and emotional turmoil pushed
Marasim out of his house. "I confided in my mother about my
sexual preference. Though my family did not accept me, they did not
want to force me into marrying a girl. But Rohan, who is studying
engineering in Ahmedabad, does not want to reveal his sexuality to
his parents. He will move to Vadodara, take up a job and marry me,"
says Marasim. The only thing the couples hope for is acceptance from
society. (Some names have been changed)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘I am proud, I
am gay’ 
LEKHA MENON
TIMES NEWS NETWORK[ MONDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2001
09:27:33 PM ]
|
The cover page is startling.
It shows two men, dressed in royal finery, kissing.
Inside, the writing is big, bold and clear. “Mane garv
che ke hoon gay choo” (I am proud, I am gay), declares
the writer. Leaf through the remaining pages of the thin
booklet and what one sees are glimpses of a subtle, yet
forceful undercurrent of a sexual revolution taking
place in the cultural capital of Gujarat. In the
process, also revealing the ‘other side’ of the banyan
city. The gay community, always counted among the
‘marginalised’ sections of society, is seeking to break
age-old taboos. And providing them a platform to express
their feelings is ‘Lakshya’, Gujarat’s only gay magazine
being published from Vadodara. Brought out by the
Lakshya trust, a city-based NGO working for gays in
Vadodara and Surat, the magazine is all set to become
the Gujarati version of Bombay Dost, when it will be
available for circulation shortly. Call it a movement or
even a revolution, Lakshya is being seen by the gay
community as a small step in the long battle against
prejudice, stigma and insecurities that have always
plagued them. Spearheading the movement is Sylvester
Merchant, a 22-year old activist from Rajpipla, now
settled in Vadodara. The brain behind Lakshya — the
organisation and the magazine — is remarkably
unassuming, but has provided inspiration to hundreds of
gays across the state to come out in the open. The
obstacles are aplenty, though Vadodara, with its
supposedly liberal and ‘gay-friendly’ attitude provides
a perfect platform for the community, to take such a
bold step. According to sources, the gay sub-culture is
most active in Vadodara, more than any other city in
Gujarat. Apart from meeting, socialising and sex
activities (there are reportedly 28 cruising sites in
the city), it has a ‘happening’ party scene too. All of
course, under wraps and cloaked in mystery. Even so, the
stigmas, dilemmas and opposition (at least in the middle
and lower sections of society), faced by homosexuals, is
immense. Lakshya’s objective is to help such gays feel
confident about their sexuality. “A time has come where
we can talk of gay rights openly,” says Merchant.
“Through Lakshya, we hope to make small, yet significant
changes for the community and encourage them to fight
social pressures, harassment and abuse.” The magazine is
a small, albeit important part of Lakshya’s activities,
which include counselling, AIDS awareness and other
projects. Not surprisingly, Ashok Row Kavi’s Humsafar
Trust and Bombay Dost are a huge inspiration. “Bombay
Dost reassured me that homosexuality is not ‘abnormal’.
We then thought of starting a similar one for gays in
Gujarat too,” says Merchant. Incidentally, the first
edition of the magazine was brought out almost a year
ago, a few months after the first gay conference of
Gujarat held in Rajpipla last July. While the first
volume was more of a compilation of newspaper reports
and information, the new edition is much more
professional. Apart from translations and comments on
news relating to gays, it also carries articles and
poems written by gays and heterosexuals. Though it will
be distributed only within the community, Merchant says
a change in attitude is slowly creeping in. “Gays in the
city are still an insecure lot, but now a few of them
are willing to open up.” And the change, though
understated, can be seen. As S V, a hardware businessman
and editor of Lakshya says, “I have accepted my
sexuality and want to encourage others to do the same.
It is difficult, but better than leading a double life.”
A double life is what most MSMs (men having sex with
men) are forced to lead, in a society which neither
gives the legal nor moral sanction for homosexuality.
And Lakshya aims to show gays some direction in a
‘straight’ world.
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