Ravi:
You are right in saying that the situtation that you face now is one that many has faced already; many would too. My take: 1. Do you have siblings? If you do, come out to them, and make them understand that your life it is, and not someone else's. 2. Are your parents dependent on you? I mean financially? If they are not, you should be in a position to move out of the city you are in and lead your life the way you want. 3. What are the reasons your parents quote for the desperate search for a wife for you? The concern for your life? Your career? Your happiness? Your well-being? I am afraid it is none of the above. It is THEIR happiness, concern for THEIR life ahead, worries of THEIR well being, THEIR social status, peer pressure to have the most ostentatious wedding among THEIR peers... Believe me, it is true. My experience has been that whenever my parents brought up the question of marriage, I asked them what their reasons are. They honestly protest that they want to see me a 'complete' man, socially acceptable, and all that jazz. I told them the way that I am is the way I want (without telling them that I am gay; just told them that I am NOT going to get marrried), and anything forced upon me would only make me have a worse life than they can imagine. Is it what they want? Do they want to make their child an unhappy man? Certainly not. I tell them that I have reasons not to get married; my dad seems to understand what it is. And yes, I am out to my siblings; not that they are all excited abt it, but plain indifferent. May be my staying out of home for the last 18 years or so helps; or may be that is the very reason. And I DO love my parents and my family, no questions on it. Just that I make them realise that as a son it is not for me to live a life they want me to, but as an individual it is for ME to decide what I want. I think I would sum up the whole thing: Love your parents, convince tehm that you do love them, support them, BUT make clear in no uncertain terms that YOU have a life of your own, and it is NOT their RIGHT to decide what is good for you. I am sure you will find more encouraging responses from ppl out here. Go ahead in life. All the very best! Benny PS: Read the sig line! :) It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. - Andre Gide. ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar. Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free! http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/WfTolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info ========================== NEW CLASSIFIEDS SECTION SEEKING FRIENDS? VISIT www.gaybombay.info click on classified section and type your message in the post section once the link opens What's hot? What's not? Where are the LGBT parties being held and when? Click here!! http://calendar.yahoo.com/YYY,04497/srt,0/gaybombaygroup/?v=42&POS= Post:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Groups Homepage:- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay Unsubscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
