Hi, The best solution i had come up is to inform your friends one by one in privacy. Asking them how much they value freindship above such issues, and would it make a difference to them. I had this expereince and was suggested a 4 step formula : Select the first person on basis of your closeliness to him 1. Take the person in confidence in privacy. 2. Tell him how much his freindship means to you. 3. Discuss how much difference does it makes to know that his Friend is different. 4. Then tell him that this is a fact and you have been bothered and wann be honest with him and this is a something between then. 5. Based on his reaction, thank him for his understanding. ( My experience is " He will look confused and may look little unsettled, as it will be difficult to accept, but Men had been know from ancient times to accept such things in private, and feel less threatened and have take a stand of " its your problem and iam ok with it" ) The MOST INPORTANT thing is behave normal once the situation is well know and accepted by all the friends.Life will not suddenly chance from the fact that all your freidns know the secret, unless you wann have a public discussion or behave differently ) The general reaction is of diffidence or igonaring of the fact by the others. Do not behave or react in front of them in any manner hinting, let them come to terms with the fact, once well settled, the situation accepted, it will all turn into a great bonding. Do not discuss any Gay Issue with them in public, or in group, it forces the others to take a stand, or public posture, and show their discomfort ( after all they are all social animals ). On one-to-one basis people have no qualms or problems of your chocie and will let you live with it, but when you comptete for public discourse with them, then their insecurities play and they may feel a threat from your so called disruption/ odd behaviour. If you value freidnship and want to be open to your friends do it one-at-a-time, and take a test. Till your make new support groups you will need the ones you have, and need not play all your cards . Hope you are able to paly the game, go on baby......all the Best... Luv Ajay
ADAM <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: hello all, a mail from me to this group which is been there educating me in lot of ways... i have something to ask about...all this while when i lived in bangalore only 2 straight people knew that i was gay and they were fine with that.. now that i'm in australia surrounded by new indian freids who are really close to me,do u think i should reveal my identity,or preference to them?sometimes i end up in awkward situations as they do not know abot me... again i fear, if i let them know, i might be excluded..if they come to knw abt me thru someone else,then also i'm in misery...what do i do... anyone to help me out in this issue.. regards adam ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> $9.95 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything. http://us.click.yahoo.com/J8kdrA/y20IAA/yQLSAA/WfTolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info ========================== NEW CLASSIFIEDS SECTION SEEKING FRIENDS? VISIT www.gaybombay.info click on classified section and type your message in the post section once the link opens What's hot? What's not? Where are the LGBT parties being held and when? Click here!! http://calendar.yahoo.com/YYY,04497/srt,0/gaybombaygroup/?v=42&POS= Post:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Groups Homepage:- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay Unsubscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
