Same-sex marriage a
year later: For better or worse? Supporters and
opponents of gays and lesbians exchanging legal vows are fighting in courts of
both law and public opinion Tuesday, March 01, 2005 BILL GRAVES Along with nearly 3,000
other couples, Cristina Caravaca, 33, and Sandra Naranjo, 32, of They dashed to the They rushed to marry
before anyone could stop them. And now they're prepared to fight for what they
gained, even though "I am married, and
it's valid right now, and I'm going to use it, and I'm going to say it and be
it and not let Measure 36 put me back in the closet," Naranjo says. Still, Opinions vary on
whether the rush to marry gay and lesbian couples in Tim Nashif, political
director for the Defense of Marriage Coalition and sponsor of Measure 36, says
approval of his measure and similar initiatives in 10 other states on Nov. 2
set back gay activists. They show that
"the people of Americans have become
more solidified against same-sex marriage and more willing to support measures
to prohibit it, says the Rev. Louis Sheldon, chairman of the Traditional Values
Coalition, a Christian group based in "We will continue
to take it on the chin with these marriage amendments," says Matt Foreman,
executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, based in The gay-rights movement
saw victories that, on balance, advanced the push for same-sex marriage, he
says. The flurry of gay and lesbian marriages a year ago forced people to
confront the issue, which eventually will lead to better understanding and
broader support, he says. Evan Wolfson, executive
director of Freedom to Marry, a "Of course, the
movement is further ahead now then a year ago because we now have marriages; we
now have couples getting legally married on It became true in The commissioners were
criticized for abruptly issuing licenses without public debate. "We could have
done the process better," says Multnomah County Chairwoman Diane Linn.
But, she adds, extending marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples was
"an important step for this community." A year of marriage Most of the 2,968 gay
and lesbian couples who married in In random interviews,
couples say marriage did not bring dramatic or practical changes in their
day-to-day lives. Because the legality of their marriages remains unclear, most
do not qualify for spousal health insurance, tax breaks or other legal benefits
of marriage. But some say marriage
brought subtle shifts in the way others look at them and in how they look at
themselves. Many couples say they were stunned by how emotional their weddings
were. "It took me some
time to figure out that it wasn't just that people were getting married, but
people were experiencing equality, and it was transformative," says Roey
Thorpe, executive director of Basic Rights Oregon, a gay-rights group, and one
of the people who married a year ago. "It was about status -- equal status
-- and people feeling like they were equal in the eyes of their community. . .
. It was profound." Caravaca and Naranjo,
the Marriage has not
changed their busy lives. Naranjo is finishing her studies this spring at But "the way our
family and friends see us has changed," says Naranjo, daughter of
Colombian immigrants. "The entire family is coming for my law school
graduation. I believe it has a little to do with law school, but has more to do
with Chris and I being permanent now and a family." Their daughter says
their marriage has made a difference for her, too. "I feel
safer," she says. "If something were to happen to one of them, and if
they weren't married, I could be taken away. When they are married, that won't
happen." For Chris Bidwell, 41,
manager for an Internet stock brokerage, the value of marriage snapped into
focus on May 6, the day David Bocci, 43, his spouse, suffered a stroke. Because
they were married, Bidwell's signature was accepted by doctors seeking approval
to treat Bocci with an emergency clot-busting procedure. Bocci is now back at
work as a graphic arts manager. Marriage has brought
less dramatic changes, too. "David's sister
calls me her brother-in-law," says Bidwell, who's been with Bocci for 16
years. "That may sound small, but, in essence, it shows you are part of
the family with a very simple statement." Marty Beaudet, 47, a
freelance writer, and Chuck Kisselburg, 45, a security expert, from "It is a relief to
be able to simply introduce my husband and go on and . . . They treat us like
they would any married couple." Lawmakers and the court
The Oregon Supreme
Court is expected to rule within weeks whether the Some lawmakers are
waiting for the court ruling to introduce proposals for a civil union law. They
have already introduced several bills to prohibit discrimination against gays
and lesbians. Gov. Ted Kulongoski has called on the Legislature to rise to Gay-rights issues have
a higher profile in the Legislature this session because of the battle over
same-sex marriage in Sen. Ben Westlund,
R-Bend, says he has researched other state laws, including "It's simply the
right thing to do," he says. But opponents are
pushing back. Anti-discrimination
bills that would make it illegal to deny a job, apartment or table at a
restaurant to gays or lesbians are drawing strong opposition from groups that
argue there's no need for such laws. Sen. Gary George, R-Newberg, is sponsoring
a bill, at the request of the Christian Coalition, to bar same-sex substitutes
for marriage, including civil unions. Leaders for and against
same-sex marriage say their war will rage on, no matter what happens in the
Legislature or courts. Gay activists say the nation is going through a
patchwork period in which some states are moving toward legalizing same-sex
marriage while others are resisting. Opponents say they
expect more court battles and, ultimately, support for an amendment to ban
same-sex marriage in the U.S. Constitution. Once a federal court rules in
support of same-sex marriage, "you'll see a push for a national marriage
protection amendment," predicts Bill Maier, vice president and
psychologist for Focus on the Family, a Christian group in Despite what might
happen in coming weeks, Caravaca and Naranjo, the "I have no doubt
that when I'm an old woman, I'll be an old married woman," Naranjo says.
"It is going to happen, and I will see it happen." Staff writer Michelle
Cole contributed to this report. Bill Graves: 503-221-8549;
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