WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED
A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night. 5% said it was to get a glass of water, 12% said it was to go to the toilet, and 83% said it was to go home.
THE PERFECT BREAKFAST (as a man sees it)
You're sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of the box of Wheaties, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of the milk carton.
THE FUNERAL
A funeral service is being held for a woman who had just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump in to a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
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