g_b Jokes ooh Lalaah!!

Sun, 29 May 2005 22:00:03 -0700

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.

After his talk he offers question time.

 

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Bob".

"And what is your question, Bob?"

 

"I have 3 questions.

First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

 

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

 

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?

Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

 

A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"

"And what is your question, Steve?"

 

"I have 5 questions.

First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!

And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

3 men where at the CIA Building for a job interview.

 

The first man walked into the office . The

interviewing CIA agent said "To be in the CIA you must

be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife

is in the next room. I want you to go in there and

shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun,

hesitated, and said "Sorry, I can't do it."

 

The next interviewee came into the office. The

Agentsaid "To be in the CIA you must be loyal,

dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the

next room.I want you to go in there and shoot her with

this gun." The man took the gun, walked into the room,

then walked out. "Sorry," he said.

 

The last man came into the office. The interviewer

said "To be in the CIA you must be loyal, dedicated,

and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I

want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun."

The man took the gun and went into the room. The Agent

heard 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming.

 

The man came out of the room and said "Someone loaded

the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the

curtain railing, chair and the glass table.!"

 

 

 

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a
city department store. In fact it was the biggest
store in the world - you could get anything there.
 
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman
before?", Yes, I was a salesman in the country", said
the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You
can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you. The day
was long and arduous for the young man, but finally
5:00 came
around.
 
The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales
did you make today?".
"One" said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make
20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth??. 
"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four
dollars" said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted
boss.
Well", said the salesman "this man came in and I sold
him
 a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally
a really large hook.
Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and
a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing
and he said down the coast. I said he would probably
need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department
and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin
engines. Then he said his Volkswagon probably wouldn't
be able to pull it, so I took him to the car
department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser"
 The boss took two steps back and asked in
astonishment,
 "You sold all that to a guy who came in
for a fish hook". 
"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box
of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him,
"Your weekend's screwed, you may as well go fishing."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

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