As a single GAY parent, or as a couple, does one dread that moment when the explanantion about dad and dad, or mom and mom, is due?
I remember asking someone if it had been difficult explaining to his adolescent daughter who those uncles were, the ones who often spend the night in dad's room. And indeed it was. Atleast with your parents, you can understand what their reaction can be. But with the impressionable and developing minds, you are clueless.
Come what may, you need to tell them at one point of time. Lets see, as a single gay parent, maybe one needs to be a bit careful about what one does around the house. Especially till the time is right for the child to understand. An open heart to heart conversation, and a convincing confident positive attitude showing that one doesnt change either way, definitely helps.
Probably what is more important is that you need to show that you trust your child, because if you are hesitant, chances are that the child also might not understand and respond.
But it is extremely important for you to consult a child psychologist first. Whether as a couple, or as single, you must rely on expert advise. It might help if you are lucky enough to have your parents and friends to support you, as that will give the child confidence and faith in you; but if you dont have, doesnt matter. You still need to take a chance.
Remember the movie birdcage. Who knows, maybe, you might be as lucky as Nathan Lane's character...
Raising a child is difficult for any parent, be it gay or straight. But it is not the sexuality of the parent that assures the wholistic development of
the child, it is the stability, security and unconditional love that they provide. And if you have that, no force in the world can make anything go wrong... and they will grow up just fine....
Rij
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