Gays may not be the only people getting into loveless marriages knowingly, but this is a gay list so we are bound to discuss gay people here.
The fact that straight people do something does not justify it.
Why do you assume that people who have written here criticizing gay men who succumbed to marriage pressures, have done nothing to help someone who is under such pressure ?
Regards
Salil
Karna Mehta <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Karna Mehta <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
just a thought...another opinion not expressed so far...
gays are being critisized for marraying and spoiling a girl's life.
Are the gays the only one doing this?
How many hetrosexuals spoil girls life calmly by entering into a loveless
marraige due to parental pressures,need for money,tying up two families and so
many other numerous reasons.
I am not justifying either case. But only highlighting that only the gays do not
enter a loveless marraige. In case of hetrosexuals the loveless marraige may
account for more than 50% in case of India.Just mull it over. Amongst
hetrosexuals the loveless marraige numbers must be staggering.
Again not all gays are that educated or self confident, or financially
independent or that courageous to face society by coming out or that independent
to face life alone.
Gays are also human with all their fallacies. In this discussion we are not
being practical in my humble opinion. Thetre can be no one view on gay
marraiges. Circumstances, personality of the gay, financial conditions force
many to compromise on so many issues that is against their consience . But he
has to be practical to continue with life the way he can handle it. And not all
men can handle or are capable of handling a given situation in the best/moral
way. comprmise and being practical is LIFE.
And so the gay or hetrosexual choose a path that they can handle. And in my
opinion no one has a right to pass a judgement on this unless he helps the
person to overcome or alter the conditions dictating his choice.
Am I wrong?.....
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---- On Sun, 19 Mar 2006, luvguys30 ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) wrote:
> Hi guys, I don't know how many of you have watched Jabbar
> Patel's "Subah" (Umbartha in Marathi), wherein the legendary
> actress Smita Patil gave her best known performance. In this movie,
> Patil plays an idealistic superintendent of a women's reform
> facility. There is a very well written scene. Two inmates are found and
> exposed as being sexually involved with one another. The rest of the
> inmates lobby for these two girls to be thrown out. The Board of
> Trustees wish the same. However Patil fights on behalf of the lesbians.
> "Try to understand their forlorn condition" patil tells agitating women.
> "Let them go to hell. They should be thrown out at any cost"
> demand furious inmates. "Their situation is as hopeless as yours.
> If thrown out, where will they go?" ………… Patil. "Let
> them go to dogs. Their behaviour is immoral and unethical. They are
> evils." ………… inmates. "Don't forget, about all of
> you the society thinks exactly the same" ………… Patil.
> "Where society allows us to live among them? They have thrown us in
> this hell." ………… inmates. "So, with that logic you
will
> not allow them to live among you?" ………… Patil. I
recalled
> this scene while reading the mails on the subject. Samir
> --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "utkarsh" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> >
> > First of all, Aditya that was a hell of a good read!... and very much
> > true. I love your writing style!
> >
> > Now to the point... I have come across many messages from the group by
> > people that have a lesser understanding of the english language - this
> > is for them; i.e. a simplification of what Aditya wrote in my own
> > words which are more straight forward because I could never be that
> > eloquent even if I tried... once again, hats off to you Aditya!
> >
> > And the Lord said:
> >
> > Don't have sex or sexual relations behind the back of your wife
> > because it is simply adultery and a nasty thing to do... if you really
> > must, then your wife has EVERY GOD DAMN FUCKING RIGHT to be told about
> > it (and then make a decision and stand on the issue for herself)!!!
> > Hiding something like this is criminal... Period.
> >
> > If you're not married but on the threshold of it - tell that girl
> > about your inclinations and don't (I repeat myself) DO NOT HIDE IT
> > FROM HER!!! That simply amounts to LYING by OMISSION and LYING IS A
> > BAD THING!!! Period.
> >
> > It never stops amazing me at exactly how good people are at justifying
> > their "sins". If people were more honest (that is not to say blunt
> > and/or TACTLESS - just more honest) then this world would be a much
> > better place.
> >
> > Finally - tact... TACT does NOT equate with OMISSION of the truth! It
> > only means that you will phrase your confession in a way that the
> > other person will hear it instead of fainting dead away.
> >
> > GOT IT?
> >
> > (Really, it REALLY amazes me at how people justify wrong-doing with
> > absolute bullshit! GROW UP guys, stand up and be just and good, don't
> > give in to the temptation of sparing your dignity. Stand up and face
> > the possiblity of criticism and possibly insult like a "Man"! That is
> > called good Karma!)
> >
> > Anyhow, I could rant and rave and pontificate into the next millenium
> > on this topic so I'll apply the brakes now and say my "Al vida's"...
> >
> > Bye for now y'all!
> > Cheers!
> > (Grow up losers!)
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "Aditya Bondyopadhyay"
> > adit.bond@ wrote:
> > >
> > > Darlings all,
> > >
> > > Here is the gist of the long brawl. The intention is bipartisan, but
> me
> > > being me, I shall take editorial priviledge and beat up a few gits
> > on the
> > > side. Love you all, including the loveless fuckers.
> > > 1] Everyone [gay, straight, bi, and everything before, after and
> > in-between]
> > > has the right to decide for themselves and themselves only, and no
> > one can
> > > judge another, provided:
> > >
> > > 2] What one decides is honest, upfront, ethical, undeceitful,
> > undeceiving,
> > > and does not hurt another or take him/her for a ride; therefore:
> > >
> > > 3] Every gay man has a right to get married, provided he tells the
> > wife to
> > > be that he is gay, so that she can take an independent and informed
> > decision
> > > about whether to get married to the gayboy or not; or in the
> > alternative:
> > >
> > > 4] If he thinks that he cannot tell the wife to be, then he should
> > not get
> > > married; however:
> > >
> > > 5] If he just happens to be gutless, spineless, lacking family
> > jewels, and
> > > rather doormatty before domineering parents who want him to get
> > married for
> > > whatever reason, he should try and first develop gut, spine, and
> family
> > > jewels, before taking any decisions, for he really is not an
> > 'everyone' yet
> > > [as defined by gist # 1 above], but is actually just a doormat and
> > therefore
> > > does not have the priviledge to decide; Over and above the dictum on
> > honesty
> > > etc. one of the important signs of having developed gut, spine, and
> > family
> > > jewels is to be able to tell papa and mama to back off [or is it
> fuck
> > > of..??] and not be unduly bothered about the important question of
> being
> > > left out of the family silvers; yet:
> > >
> > > 6] Should he illegitimately usurp such a priledge of decicion making
> [as
> > > preserved for everyone but doormats] and decide to get married,
> without
> > > letting wifey-to-be know about his actual predelictions, hoping in
> the
> > > process that he can keep up the pretence of married heterosexual
> > life while
> > > bonking or being bonked on the side by other guys [maybe even
> > keeping the
> > > bonkboys in the dark about the wife decorating the lodgings back
> there],
> > > then he is in clear violation of gist # 2 above [i.e. about honesty
> > etc.]
> > > and therefore can be judged as per the exeption provisio to gist # 1
> > above.
> > > [Editor's judgement: he is a rascal of the highest order, and should
> > be held
> > > in spite and contempt by all decent human beings. Abusing suchlike
> > people
> > > withing the bounds of moderation policies of elists is a solelm
> > duty]; but
> > > then:
> > >
> > > 7] What about those that were already married before they
> > 'discovered' their
> > > true nature. Well, gist # 2 above applies to them and their remedy
> > lies in
> > > follwing its dictum. If they feel incapable of doing so, then they
> > should
> > > try and adopt the remedy prescribed in the first line of gist # 5
> > [i.e. they
> > > should try and develop gut, spine, and family jewels to be empowered
> to
> > > follow gist # 2]. They naturally should be allowed a reasonable time
> to
> > > exercise this, and till then they should refrain from side
> > piccadellos. That
> > > way the wife is not practically cheated, only emotionally, but tough
> > shit,
> > > its not a perfect world; and Finally:
> > >
> > > 8] If in spite of reasonable time and and opporunity to turn into an
> > honest
> > > human being, they continue to think that the world is made up of
> > gullible
> > > chutiyas and they can take everyone for a ride, then last line of
> > gist # 6 [
> > > i.e. he is a rascal etc.] above becomes squarly applicable to them.
> > >
> > > Luv2all, Aditya Bondyopadhyay
> > >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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