from THE TIMESONLINE 23RD NOVEMBER 2006 Tuesday, November 21, 2006 Men only The subject of gay, men-only parties has been taken up by both Anthony and Adrian. Both point out the foolishness of going to one when you´re in a monogamous relationship. Wise words. And true enough, while I can´t think of anything worse, I can see how for many people a gay men-only party might add up to what, in my Catholic days, I learned to call a ´dangerous occasion of sin´. In other words, a situation where, while it might not say ´sin´ on the can, in big bold letters, a thorough reading of the small-print would reveal hidden dangers. Life is full of ´dangerous occasions´- and we face them every day, from the ´just one quick drink´at the start of the evening through to óne for the road´at the end. Moments which, while innocent in themselves, can easily lead to other things. Moments which we either avoid altogether or approach with our eyes open. But that´s not my problem with men-only parties, or with the full-on, 100 per cent gay party scene I encountered in the States. Far from being a temptation, my problem was that I always thought that a completely gay party was a completely dull party, a party I didn´t want to go to, a party which had failed in the core business of a party, which for me has always been about a mix of people. Sex is one thing... parties another. True, I am in a monogamous relationship now, but that´s not the point. I can still understand how, if you´re looking to get your leg over, so to speak, anyone who doesn´t fit the bill, because they´re a straight boy or a straight girl or a lesbian, might seem simply a distraction. But I don´t think that´s what a party is about. And evenings which are about picking up - from straight pick-up wine bars in South Kensington, through to a gay leather bar in Vauxhall - are just not that much fun, surely?
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