Three friends (two straight guys and a gay guy) and their significant others
were on a cruise. A tidal wave came and swamped the ship and they all drowned.
The next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head
sadly.
"I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even
married a woman name Penny."
Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in either. You loved
food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look
good, Dick.
Sandie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of
her depression mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter is
constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Sandie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately
replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for
six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know
what that meant. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she
stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit.
Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down
there I am still in
mourning."
He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same
scenario. She's
standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit; except
that he has an erection, on which he has a black condom.
She looks at him and asks, "What's with this...a black condom?"
He replies, "I'd like to offer my condolences."
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