An Arab Gay Experience
The Following Was received by e-mail from a gay Arab:
AMMAN-- I was molested by several men when I was a child. When I became a
teenager I became very religious and tried to block my gay fantasies, something
which proved to be very difficult. At the same time I was reading a lot of
English language publications, such as Time, Newsweek and the Economist. There,
I found gay culture and at 19 I decided that I was gay. It took another year
for my first adult sexual encounter. I was in medical school at the
University of Jordan. We were studying ophthalmoscopy, the science of how to
examine someones eyes. A colleague proposed that we go to a separate room in
the hospital to practice on each other, and we did.
Instead of looking at my eyes he landed at my neck and mouth kissing and
biting. I said no but I meant yes. This started a sexual relationship. However,
since he was the active partner, he considered himself straight and me gay.
There was a little of psychological abuse there.
We lived at the second circle. I started walking at night like most people of
the time between the first and third circles. Soon, I discovered people driving
slowly behind me and would also follow me into side streets. One guy picked me
up and we had sex that night. At the end, he offered me a five dinar bill. I
felt like a prostitute and I threw the money in his face. He did not mean harm
but I took an offence at it. The guy met me several times after that, I think
he liked me but I could never forgive him and he knew it.
All my Arab encounters were with men who were either married or who married
later. I felt that to be gay in a western sense is not yet an Arab idea. This
was in the years 1983-1989. Please remember the confidentiality issue since I
am not out to my family, although I think that they know.
---------------------------------
You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total
Access, No Cost.
