hey shekhar,
pls sambhal apne apko.....same situation here..........i love one of my friend,
but he don't and he want sex from me only dude..................
by the way ur loc pls
--- On Tue, 7/10/08, SHEKHAR BHAKHARIA <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
From: SHEKHAR BHAKHARIA <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: g_b ........!!!!!!!!!!!........could not think of an appropriate
subject
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tuesday, 7 October, 2008, 12:47 PM
Dear all,
I have remained a passive member of this group since last 3 years. Presently,
I am in such state of affairs in my life that I want to communicate.
I am a closeted gay, 25 years old, good job, well qualified, well paid and have
been searching for a partner since last 2 years. I came across 2 guys but when
it came to relationship and commitment both of them didn't show much interest
rather they unexpectedly panicked and vanished away. From last 1 month I have
been in depression.. . to such a breaking point that I may have well committed
a suicide but didn't have enough courage to do the same as I haven't much money
for my dependent parents being the only son in the family.
These days I dont enjoy my work, feel tired most of the times of the day and
even early mornings and more than a 100 times a day suicidal thoughts visit my
mind. When I am alone even for a moment I start crying and sometimes even when
I am with people, tears well up in my eyes showing perhaps a cry for help...
I want to be in a relationship, not necessarily love or bonding but even simply
a close friendship with someone who would understand that being gay is normal.
I find it extremely difficult to be sharing thoughts with my straight friends,
most of them discussing about girls or cars or mobile phones where I wish to
discuss art and dance and movies and relationships. .. And for that matter, I
belong to such a town where the mentality of people is narrow and so I am even
afraid to be openly gay as fear of being attacked surrounds me all the time
(there are some community youth workers {would not like to give names of those
groups} on work all the time).
I feel I am TRAPPED. Sometimes I feel my senses are already dying. In my
dreams I see myself shouting at the top of my lungs and nobody even noticing
the same... I don't know whether I would be able to come out of this ever or
would commit a suicide or do what further but there is only one wish i.e. I
wish to talk and listen and also want someone to listen and talk...
The root of all this is perhaps the search for someone. I am a confident and
committed person, not afraid of any situation in life but the only fear that I
have is that constant betrayal from sex seekers and casual gays would surely
ruin me and my hope of being with someone genuine...
Thank you for listening... .!!!!!
Shekhar
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