Good letter etc... But I did not get the last line: I ve known since you were 3 years old!
???? What did she mean?? On Wed, Feb 18, 2009 at 2:28 PM, moderator <modera...@gaybombay.in> wrote: > *Dear Mum & Dad...* > > Posted in: True Stories<http://www.gaynz.com/articles/publish/36/index.php> > By Aaron from Dunedin - 9th February 2009 > > Email this > article<?subject=Dear%20Mum%20%26%20Dad...&body=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gaynz.com%2Farticles%2Fpublish%2F36%2Farticle_7072.php> > Printer friendly > page<http://www.gaynz.com/articles/publish/36/printer_7072.php> > ««« Go Back <http://gaybombay.in/> > > > *Nervous about coming out to his parents, 18-year old Aaron from Dunedin > decided to write them a letter which he hoped would explain everything.* > > [image: letter.jpg] > > Aaron told us his situation via our Forum last week: > > *"I think tonight's the night I'm finally going to break it to my parents. > They've been continually asking me of I'm ok, if everything's all right, > what's happening in my life etc etc. They know something's up but they don't > know what. Apparently they've been fighting a wee bit because of it too. How > do I break it to them? Do I just sit down and say "mum, dad... I'm gay? I've > already told all my mates and my sister but the mum and dad... a wee bit > different."* > > Then, a couple of days later: > > *"I did it. Finally thought the time was right. So I wrote this for them > and left it on their bed before I went out to go clubbing. Couldn't handle > doing it in person."* > ------------------------------ > > > > *Dear Mum & Dad,* > > No doubt both of you are a little confused by the way that you're reading > this letter. Each of you with a copy, sealed in envelopes within an envelope > with the instruction to only read at home together. Well, you'll soon know. > > I want to share something about my life that is important because I love > you. I am gay. > > > To be completely honest, I cannot predict how you will be responding, what > thoughts will be running through your minds. Why is our son gay? What did we > do to make him gay? Will he ever be happy? What will everyone else think? -- > these are just some of the questions I think you might be pondering. I am > writing this letter because although it shouldn't be, this is very hard for > me to tell you. In any case, I hope this will allow you to go over what I > want to say at a pace you're comfortable with, and to take in these ideas > and concepts as you're ready for them. > > > The first thing I want you to know is that I have always been gay, this is > not a temporary phase, and it is not something I ever "chose" or "decided" > to be. I've thought about it a lot, and as best as I can remember, I first > knew I was gay at age 13 or 14, although it took a few more years for me to > fully realize the full implications of what it meant to be gay. But even > years earlier, I knew I was different. I am completely convinced that being > gay is the way I was born, and nothing you or anyone else ever did "made" me > gay. My natural orientation and preference is toward other men, and as for > its being a "choice," my only choice, as I see it, has been whether to be > open and honest about my feelings, or to continue to deny and hide them. > Being gay is simply part of who I am -- and a part I've been longing to > share with you for quite some time. In the years that have passed since > then, keeping this a secret from you has become more and more of a burden. > It has also placed an invisible wall between us in that I cannot share with > you much of what goes on in my life, something that straight children take > for granted. I could not share the excitement of meeting somebody new nor > the pain when things didn't work out. I have spent many nights crying with a > broken heart, alone, unable to call you for support. > > > I know that you may be feeling shocked, confused, angry, and sad; and > perhaps you might feel that, somewhere along the way, you have failed as > parents. From what I have read, these are common reactions. You have not > failed as parents; you have both been wonderful. You have raised me to be > kind, thoughtful, caring and honest. You have taught me social values, moral > principles and respect. To treat others as I want to be treated, to love > others as I want to be loved. No single thing can be more valuable than the > generosity of these gifts you have given to me in my life. Nobody chooses to > be gay and I accept myself and am happy with who I am. I have told Kahlia, > and Anette and Sean know too. My friends have known for some time as well > and the majority of them accept me. I hope that you will be happy for me. > > Although I knew very early about being gay, I kept it inside me for a very > long time. Most of the time, I wished it didn't have to be that way, that it > didn't have to be a big secret, but I was petrified of anybody knowing or > finding out but one incident convinced me I had no choice but to tell you. > Dad, I don't know if you remember this particular conversation we had a few > weeks ago, but I hope it at least sounds vaguely familiar to you. I had been > spending a lot of time with Chantelle. One day we were driving somewhere in > the car. At this point, Dad, you asked me if you could ask me something > personal -- I said sure, expecting what was coming: you asked if Chanty and > I were beginning to see each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, or at least > if thoughts like that had come up. I told you that I hadn't really ever > thought about her that way, and that she was just a good friend (which is > completely the truth). At that point, I saw a quick flash of disappointment > in your face, which you tried to hide, but which nevertheless evidenced > through. And at that point, Dad, seeing that look on your face, and for > weeks afterward, I wanted nothing more than to tell you "Dad, I'm very > happy. I happen to be interested in guys, not girls, but all the same I've > had my crushes, there have been guys I was interested in, in that respect, > although I'm interested in other guys, I'm a happy, healthy, typical > 18-year-old." -- but all that was something that couldn't be said, at least > not until I came out to you. That is why I knew you had to be told. > > Part of me thinks that you might have suspected for some time that I am gay > since I hardly ever brought home girls while in school and I never talk > about dating or women now. On the other hand, my being gay may have come as > a complete surprise to you and you may need to take some time to get used to > the idea. Hopefully, a few years from now, our relationship will be closer > than it has been in the past. This is part of the reason I am coming out to > you: to tear down the wall between us. When we speak and you ask me what is > going on in my life and I say, "Nothing," I have been lying. I haven't been > lying to deceive you, but because I could not tell you the truth. This lying > has been eating at me for some time now and I'm tired of it. So this was the > choice I had to make: either keep lying and allow us to grow even farther > apart from each other, or tell the truth and hopefully have a better > relationship in the long run. > > I know you have always loved me very much. It was very hard to write this > letter for fear of losing that love. I have cried several times while > writing it. Although you may not understand about being gay, I hope that you > still love me now. Know that I am the same person now as I was before you > read this letter; you just know one more thing about me. I am still "Aaron." > > > Although I am away tonight, I will be home tomorrow to answer any of the > questions you may have as I'm sure there will be plenty. In the meantime, I > would like you to take a look at this website > http://www.gayfamilysupport.com/as I think it may be helpful answering > some of your questions. > > Love, > Aaron > > > ------------------------------ > > > *So what happened when Aaron's parents saw the letter? * > > > > He explains: > > *"They text me later that night after they'd read it and said 'of course > we still love you, idiot, we never stopped loving you and we never will, we > just want you to be happy and talk to us!'* > > *"There were a few tears and questions this morning but overall they were > pretty good. * > > *"Mum said: 'I've known since you were 3 years old!'"* > > > > > > *Email:* > > *modera...@gaybombay.in* > > > > *Web Sites:* > > *www.gaybombay.in* > > *www.gaybombay.info* > > *www.gayindia.org* > > > > *E Groups:* > > *http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/* > > *http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay* > > > > > > > -- - Preyas For true friendship..
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