Congratulations to Harish for surviving this ordeal and emerging a stronger person! Congrats and all the best for a bright, successful and prosperous future. He should have one, after all he has been through and also all the best to him in finding true love!
Regards and God Bless!
--- On Tue, 31/3/09, Moderator <modera...@gaybombay.in> wrote:
From: Moderator <modera...@gaybombay.in>
Subject: g_b 'I was a victim of incest for 11 long years'
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "GayAhmedabad" <gayahmeda...@googlegroups.com>, "GayBangalore" <gaybangal...@googlegroups.com>, gaybom...@googlegroups.com, "GayBombayGroup" <gaybombaygr...@yahoogroups.com>, gaybombaygr...@googlegroups.com, "Gaycalcutta"
<gaycalcu...@googlegroups.com>, gaycalcuttagr...@yahoogroups.com, "GayChennai" <gaychen...@googlegroups.com>, "gaychennaigr...@yahoogroups. Com" <gaychennaigr...@yahooogroups.com>, "GayDelhi" <gayde...@googlegroups.com>, "GayIndia" <gayin...@googlegroups.com>, "GayIndiaGroup" <gayindiagr...@googlegroups.com>, "GayMumbai" <gaymum...@googlegroups.com>, "LGBTIndia" <lgbtin...@googlegroups.com>
Date: Tuesday, 31 March, 2009, 9:02 PM
Hi all
Posting the story of brave Harish who is a member of this group. Incidentally,
he was among the handful who had replied to my request on article that I was writing
in LGBT life post 26/11 attacks in Mumbai. May we have more courageous guys
like Harish in this world, and especially in the LGBT community.
Regards
‘I was a victim of incest for 11 long years’
Incited by the Mira Road incest-rape, Harish Iyer tells the
inspiring story of how he picked up the pieces after being sodomised since he
was just seven years old
http://www.mumbaimi rror.com/ index.aspx? Page=article§name=News% 20-%20City§id=2&contentid=200903272 0090327020450873 91e1728e
By Malay Desai
Posted On Friday, March 27, 2009 at 02:04:51 AM
  ![Freakin' Awesome!]()
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 Last week, just as an Austrian
court sentenced monster dad Josef Fritzl to life for sequestering and raping
his own daughter for 24 years, another horrific story emerged – the
Mira Road rape and incest case. As all those who knew the victims hid in the
shadows trying to comprehend how they failed to see what was going on, one
man decided to come out of the dark and speak openly about the incest-rape he
suffered as a child.
Since he was just seven, Harish Iyer, now 29, was sodomised by his maternal
uncle. “I remember when he started bathing me. I was initially
unmindful, and so was my family. Who’d think there’s something
fishy in an uncle giving a bath to his nephew? However, I started realising
that something was wrong two-three months down, when the actual abuse
began,” he recalls.
“The brutality assumed greater proportions as I grew up, entering my
teens. Each invasion on my body was also one on my psyche. I soon started
turning into a numb, lifeless being. The few times I summoned the courage to
oppose, he threatened to kill me or have my parents killed. I was terrified
and told no one about my suffering,” reveals Harish, who works as a
creative manager at an event management company.
“I began living in my own shell, murmuring to imaginary friends,
writing in a diary and crying my heart out, burying my head in my dog
Jimmy’s paws. But I kept giving in, unable to say no… till I was
18. Then one day, he pounced on me and I kicked him. That was all it took for
him to stop for good. Looking back, I realised I should have given that kick
much earlier.”
But this was far from the end: “When, I told my parents they were
obviously shocked and in a fit of rage, my father accused me of having
enjoyed the ordeal since I had not voiced my dissent. This completely changed
our relationship, perhaps forever.
“I had just one friend and I had poured my heart out to him. But he
turned on me and told everyone in college. Apart from frequent taunts and
giggles, there was soon graffiti in the men’s loos with my name and
number scribbled under the words ‘gay sex’.
“I had hit rock bottom and attempted suicide… but fortunately
failed. I began to realise that survival was more challenging than escape.
The only catalyst behind my positive thoughts was my dog, in whom I found
unconditional love. He became my reason for being.”
The fact that everyone now knew about his reality only made him stronger and
more outspoken. “Activism helped me channelise my frustration. Having a
special bond for animals, I started writing to Maneka Gandhi, who heartily
replied to each letter. Through various talks, blog activism and impulsive reactions
such as the Sita Sena (an angry response to the Ram Sene), I vented my rage
towards all stigmas in society.”
The persistent rape had taken a toll on Harish’s sexuality, but after a
period of self-discovery, he learnt that he is naturally gay. And as for his
uncle, though Harish never initiated legal action against him, simply by
speaking up he was able to ensure the monster was ostracised by the entire
family and divorced by his wife. “I know he is still at large in this
city and I will always live with that fear. But the truth is, I
wouldn’t have been this aware a citizen had it not been for my brutal
past.”
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