Ye SP you are right, all people are good loving and caring but its the circumstances that may force them to behave in a particular way. One of my freinds is into women totaly, married and does not miss a chance with an consenting women if he gets one but he has an issue. When he was young his male cousin used to dress him up in womens clothes and abuse him so he has this burning deseire in him to do it to someone else. Maybe its a revenge or anger over his cousin. I am trying to heal him of this and give up his suppressed anger. God help me. He ha snot been able to vent his feelings till now. Its all pent up and bubbling. Yes everyone is encouraged to spread the word that if something is happeneing with you, or any perosn is behaving with you in anyway unacceptable or of high discomfort to you, then please go ahead and speak out, complain, there is no need to feel guilty about it. We are here to help you. Shatrughan you change the reference of ur name by short cutting it. From the destroyers of enemies(enemity) you change it to the enemy.:-) Last but not the least people with problems are encouraged to come and voice them on this forum but mostly the topics are agy related. Thanks
little prince-Sanjay N Lulla ________________________________ From: Shatrughna Phadke <shatru_lov...@yahoo.in> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Sent: Monday, April 6, 2009 9:47:22 PM Subject: Re: g_b Harish's story and child abuse--A protest Dear little prince, One sentence from letter "I told them (my friends) that gays are not bad some of them are really loving and caring" is enough to express my feelings about the gay ppl. Don't you think so? Did not you read what I said about the community well let me repeat a part and try to elaborate. Here I was talking about "child abuse". Most of my friends were unaware of what to do when they were being abused. I mean to say that one should learn how to keep safe distance from these criminals ( I said criminals. Criminals not gay or non gay. they don't have any religion, no country They are just Criminals ) I told my friends that if they want to discuss any problem then this community is a good place. I also feel that a member of this community need not be a gay. Please tell me am I wrong. If so please clarify.. And yes Sanjay! I appreciate you asked me to elaborate and not fired me left and right catching only one word of my letter. Also please express your view on my suggetion. Even if you don't agree with me no problem. ----Shatru --- On Mon, 6/4/09, Sanjay Lulla <sanjay_lulla2000@ yahoo.com> wrote: From: Sanjay Lulla <sanjay_lulla2000@ yahoo.com> Subject: Re: g_b Harish's story and child abuse--A protest To: gay_bom...@yahoogro ups.com Date: Monday, 6 April, 2009, 7:01 AM HI Shatru what do you mean by "One should learn how to keep a safe distance" please elaborate. I am gay and hence I am part of this forum and I am very close to my friends who are non gays. little prince-Sanjay N Lulla ________________________________ From: Shatrughna Phadke <shatru_lovely@ yahoo.in> To: gay_bom...@yahoogro ups.com Sent: Monday, April 6, 2009 6:31:42 AM Subject: Re: g_b Harish's story and child abuse--A suggestion Thanks Harish, Thanks for the information about Rahi, Muskan and Tulir. I am staying in Bomaby, and studying in a reputed school/junior college but I was not knowing about any such organisation. I got lot of friends. I talked to them and nobody knew anything about such organisations. After I join this community I found a platform where I can freely and boldly discuss such things. I got good and bad experiences here. Found really good friends. I told my friends also to join this community. I told them that to join this community you need not be a gay. I told them that gays are not bad some of them are really loving and caring. One should learn how to keep a safe distance. ---- Shatru --- On Sun, 5/4/09, Aham (alias Harish Iyer) <aham.ra...@yahoo. com> wrote: From: Aham (alias Harish Iyer) <aham.ra...@yahoo. com> Subject: Re: g_b Harish's story and child abuse--A suggestion To: gay_bom...@yahoogro ups.com, gaybom...@yahoogrou ps.com Date: Sunday, 5 April, 2009, 6:39 AM Dear Shatru Lovely, I totally am with your views. Yes, Such initiatives need to be started. But starting a new initiative would require a lot of time and concentrated efforts. but that doesnt mean we dont do anything. We could join in and support existing organizations like Rahi, Muskaan, Tulir etc... I have gone to schools and colleges that I am associated with closely. And if one feels that speaking to a survivor of child sexual abuse will help the cause. I am available. I respect the fact that we do not share mobile numbers here. One could just Google me/Visit my blog or visit my facebook profile for my mobile number. Harish Iyer www.MumbaiTerrorHel pline.Blogspot. com www.wordlyworld. blogspot. com --- On Fri, 3/4/09, shatru_lovely <shatru_lovely@ yahoo.in> wrote: From: shatru_lovely <shatru_lovely@ yahoo.in> Subject: g_b Harish's story and child abuse--A suggestion To: gay_bom...@yahoogro ups.com Date: Friday, 3 April, 2009, 8:34 PM Like Harish, there may be many in this community who might have suffered from child abuse in their early age of puberty. My suggestion is, such victims should form a group and visit schools, colleges, play ground etc. and educate students as to what is child abuse and how they should fight against it. Let them know whom to approach in such cases, let the child know that he is not alone. May be some NGO is already working in the same direction I am not sure but the efforts are not enough. I have observed that either a child is not at all educated or is over educated.... Both are dangerous. Not only children's but parents also need to be educated. Following are some instructions I found on one site. Does your child know the meaning of sex abuse? Did you know that one in three girls in the world is sexually abused before reaching the age of eighteen, and one in four before the age of fourteen? In the case of boys, one in six is sexually abused before the age of sixteen. Quite shocking, to say the least. According to sociologist David Finkelhor, who has conducted a massive study on child sexual abuse in over 19 countries besides the United Statesand Canada, sex abuse percentages in most countries are comparable with North American research figures. The overall percentages range from 7% to 36% for girls and 3% to 29% for boys. Most of these studies found females to be abused at 1.5 to 3 times more than boys. We can clearly see that sexual abuse is an international problem and not restricted to just a few countries in the world. In fact, after countries like Philippines, Sri Lanka and Thailand, countries like Nepal, India and Cambodia are facing an increasing number of paedophiles. A research carried out by Sakshi, a New Delhi-based non-governmental organization, says that 80% of Indian girls and women, belonging to all social classes, experience sexual abuse in their own families and friend circle. Majority of them prefer to remain silent. According to the State of Child Rights in India, incidences of child abuse are definitely on the rise especially since the nineties... It is quite shocking to know that - 66% sexual offenders know their victims. - 32% paedophiles have abused their own children. - 49% paedophiles are attracted to unstable children. WHAT EXACTLY IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE? Child sexual abuse is any sexual contact between a child and another person (from fondling to rape) with or without force. People who prefer sexual activity with a child are known as 'paedophiles' . It is important to remember that such offenders are completely 'responsible' and guilty in the abuse, even if they have taken the consent of the minor child. The consent of a child is not considered to be any consent at all. It is imperative to note that family members or close neighbors or frustrated fellow mates can manipulate children. Little wonder that one out of every six abusers is a child. They can be homosexual or even heterosexual. Paedophiles are usually male and could come from almost any socio-economic background. HOW TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD 1. Never scare a child about sexual abuse. Panic will beget panic. Your child may get overcautious about people. This will also affect the child's everyday vigour and spontaneity, which is the ultimate source of joy in a parent's life. But of course, it is always better to be safe than sorry. Therefore, teach him or her ground rules without injecting fear. 2. Teach your children the names of the different parts of the body. Take this step further by specifying the private parts. Tell the child that these parts should not be touched by anyone, not even close friends. 3. Your behaviour with your spouse can be a role model for the children. Therefore, until your children understand the importance of a healthy sexual relationship, do not display overt affection to your partner in front of the children. If the children ever touch your private parts, which most children playfully do in their very early years, be firm and tell them not to ever repeat it. A correct message should be conveyed with regard to the private parts.. 4... Tell them that they should immediately report to you if anyone (even if the person is a very close relative) tries to touch them in any odd place, especially if that person specifically asks them not to tell the parents. 5. Teach them not to talk to or to take anything from strangers, certainly not to give out their name, address and telephone number to anyone. But do emphasize the importance of being polite without divulging extra information. 6. Be a good listener. Your children must be sure of a patient hearing without any embarrassing remarks. Make sure that you share a completely open and friendly relationship with your children. Devote some time everyday to listening to your children's experiences in school and after-school hours. 7. Encourage your children to invite friends at home. Watch them discreetly from a distance so that you are aware of their peer group. If you sense something unhealthy, bring it to their notice. For instance, if a your daughter is visibly falling on her boyfriend at a party, take her aside later and just tell her that such things never go unnoticed. However, do not make a big issue out of it. 8. Last but not the least; be vigilant for any signs of sexual abuse. Sudden shifts in temperament, mood withdrawals, nightmares, bedwetting, bruising or swelling of genitals, fear of a certain individual, loss of interest in academic and social activities are all good indicators of sexual abuse. ________________________________ Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Invite them now. ________________________________ Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Invite them now. ________________________________ Connect with friends all over the world. Get Yahoo! India Messenger.