Dear Moderator , This topic ( Family pressures......................... ) has already been posted on the Times of India online edition . Perhaps even on its hard copy edition . have Copyright request been adhered to ? Tapesh London
> Message Received: May 24 2009, 08:13 PM > From: "sunny kapoor" > To: > Cc: > Subject: g_b Family pressure on us disgusting: Indian gays > > > > > New Delhi, May 24 Homosexuality is a criminal offence in India, but many gays > believe that a change in the law will do no good to them unless society starts > accepting them and stops putting pressurise on them to conform. > > According to Ranjan, 43, who works with an NGO in the capital, family pressure > in India is "disgusting". > > "Family pressure in India is disgusting. As a gay, I am not supposed to > disrespect my family reputation even though I am feeling miserable from > inside," > Ranjan said. > > "The law can't make any difference till we help ourselves and get support from > society and our family. There is a lot of discrimination against us and no > law can change that attitude of people towards us. The need of the hour is to > garner support from society to live a normal life like other human beings > do," said Ranjan." > > There is no official data on the country's gay population, according to > UNAIDS officials. The Indian Penal Code holds homosexual acts as an offence, > with Section 377 providing punishment up to life imprisonment for indulging > in them. > > For 44-year-old prince Manavendra Singh Gohil from Rajpipla in Gujarat, it > wasn't easy to disclose the fact that he was gay, but after a failed marriage > that lasted 15 months, he decided that succumbing to peer pressure would do > no good to his own life. > > "Initially, I didn't have the courage to be open about my identity but as I > came out of a failed marriage, I decided not to take it any more. After this, > my mother had almost disowned me for some time. But slowly everyone around me > accepted me," Gohil explained. > > "What I realised was that by getting married I was not only failing myself > but also my wife and my family. Being a gay is no threat to our values and > tradition. Most of us shy away from accepting our selves because of the > dilemma of social acceptance," he added. > > History lecturer and gay activist Rajarshi Chakrabarty said on phone from > Murshidabad in West Bengal: "There is so much struggle and stigma associated > with homosexuality that it becomes difficult for a gay to survive." > > "According to society, you should get married at a certain age, whatever your > sexual orientation is because that is a rule you have to follow to gain > acceptance in society. Unfortunately, this leads to pressure on homosexuals > which in turn leads to fights and confusion within." > > Sunil Menon, 43, an anthropologist and founder of Sahodaran that deals with > male sexual health projects, says one should never feel guilty about being > gay. > > "The guilt cycle starts from childhood when he is confused about his feelings > and does not get the opportunity to explore who he is and come to terms with > it," Menon explained. > > "People take medicines and run after psychiatrists to change this nature but > you can't do anything about it because you are born with it. It is part of a > person's personality and he should accept it rather than focussing on > changing it," he added. > > Menon also believes that importance should be given to sex education in > schools and colleges to raise awareness about the issue, especially among > people from a low strata of society so that they don't feel lost and save > themselves from verbal and emotional abuse. > > Said Ranjan: "It's not just society, the problem also lies with us because we > are scared and have fear within us. > > "It took me 30 years to accept myself as I am, so how could I expect my > family to understand me and my emotions overnight? It is a long and difficult > process." > > Today Ranjan is happily living with his partner and their parents come to > visit them. > >
