Name of Questioner Suha - India
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1265890438061 <http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1265890438061&pagename=Isl amOnline-English-Cyber_Counselor%2FCyberCounselingE%2FCyberCounselingE> &pagename=IslamOnline-English-Cyber_Counselor%2FCyberCounselingE%2FCyberCoun selingE Title My Husband Is Gay Question As salamu 'alaykum. I am a Muslim woman from a very respected family in India. I have been married for 15 years now. I am very educated, and after my marriage I realized that even though my husband was an engineer, he did not seem very educated, and I thought it was his upbringing. After a couple of years when we had to apply for Canadian immigration, I found out that he was not an engineer and had bought his degree. It was very, very sad, but I never shared it with my family as he asked me to touch and swear on the Qur'an that I would not talk about it ever. After I got pregnant with my first child, he started talking about his desire to see me with other men (physically). I was shocked as he was a very, very religious man in front of everyone. This new thing revealed itself every time he was intimate. Then he slowly started talking about how he had a physical relationship with his male friend all his college life. I was devastated, but on and off I used to hear weird stories. When I was pregnant I did not know what was going on, then he would only talk about other men) - how he has always imagined 3-4 men being with me, and him watching. Long story short, after 12 years of fighting with him and telling him how crazy he was, it started feeling normal. He used to come and tell me how he spoke to some man on the phone, and how men were interested in me. I realized that this man was not normal and he did not love me at all. With lots of shame I have to say that I had an affair during this as I wanted someone to love me only. But I realized no one actually loves you, men only want their needs met. So I totally focused on my kids, and tried to keep myself busy with my job, kids and home life. My husband is religious, he prays 5 times a day, goes to the masjid for Ijtema' (collective prayers) to propagate Islam. At some weak moment I confessed about the affair I had, and with that started all the problems. He said, you are so lucky, you did all that you wanted and you could not satisfy me with my one desire that I want to see you with other men, and one day I agreed. What happened between the 3 of us was something I cannot put in words. I found out that he is a homosexual. Even afterwards he has been begging me to continue on this path. I hate what I have done and know what a sin it was. But him, he says, what can we do Allah made me like this and literally begs me to live like this. After it was done he talks only about namaz, how religious we should be, and how our kids should keep saying du'aas before eating, after eating.... I am tired of this madness, this double life...of extreme ends. He is an active member of the mosque... I have fear for my growing daughter and want to separate from him. He threatens me that he will kill himself or hurt us all. He cannot live without me. I am so mentally prepared for separation and know for sure that my position in duniya or Akhirat (this world and the Hereafter) is poor. I need some advice! Date 03/Mar/2010 Name of Counsellor <http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1120521649593&pagename=Isl amOnline-English-Cyber_Counselor%2FCyberCounselorE%2FCyberCounselorE> Hwaa Irfan Topic Addiction, Extramarital Affairs, Gender Issues , Marital Obstacles, Before & After Divorce Email: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/post?postID=DCvNIbdTv_3_C5j5flK54H ZuyqMJgNC-L4S3BWR464eSfMgGEAMLax1OSqSI6REqIgVM3LQEejINlemMrw> modera...@gaybombay.in E Groups: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay http://groups.google.com/group/GayIndia Public archives at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Rss feed: http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com/maillist.xml GB Internet Radio at http://www.gaybombay.in/gbradio Web Sites: www.gaybombay.in www.gayindia.org Orkut: http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile?uid=15084918632470824129 Blogs: http://gaybombay.blogspot.com http://gaybombay.wordpress.com Twitter: http://twitter.com/gaybombay http://twitter.com/gayindia Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gaybombay http://www.facebook.com/gayindia
