I fully advocate the views of Ashley, and find that more and more of such breed
are on the net, and many of them are so commercial in their approach that they
prefer to have all these services rendered to them alone and nothing in
return. And it is an apathy to find that some of them have different rules
with different people, of course its one's choice I do not mean to say that one
should not use one's discretion, but are we so knave as a fraternity that we
apply such discrimination ?
________________________________
From: gaybombay <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 30 October 2012 2:36 PM
Subject: g_b The bad sex award goes to gay Indian men
The bad sex award goes to gay Indian men
By Ashley Tellis | Agency: DNA
One of the best kept secrets about gay life in India is that almost all gay sex
here is lousy. I have to report that I have never had decent sex here, and I
don't think I ever will. Apart from the fact that Indians in general are lousy
at sex and have all sorts of weird hang-ups about it, gay sex here has a
particular set of sicknesses associated with it. So, Indian men who want to and
do have gay sex also have no qualms about being disgusted by it and doing it
badly. Culture legitimises that.
Frequently, one comes across men online who will tell you that they don't kiss.
They want to be sucked, they only want to f--- you and, increasingly, want to
be rimmed too. They say this with no irony and no self-reflexivity whatsoever
and actually get offended when you tell them to go find a dog or f--- a wall
instead. Or when you tell them that something is wrong when they want you to
lick their a--- but they won't lick your face. Or speak of how important
kissing is to sex.
`Tops' (by which is meant the most pathetic imitation of missionary
heterosexual positions) don't suck, of course. They only want to be sucked.
This is a given. Men on websites call themselves `pure tops'. They are really
anxious that you come nowhere near their a--- and, of course, are not
interested at all in examining that anxiety. They expect bottoms not only to be
submissive and meek but have no penises, no orgasms, no needs, no sexual
desires other than to fulfil the desires of the tops.
Anal sex is a brutal affair and many of my gay friends have ruptured anuses,
fissures, and damaged sphincters, and seem to take it as par for the course.
High on alcohol, poppers, hash and other stuff, `bottoms' seem not to care
about their own bodies, or indeed about sex as something pleasurable, gentle
and meaningful. It is only about being stuffed and pounded and hence the need
for all the external intoxicants.
Tops, once they come, rush to the bathroom to wash and then rush out of the
house without so much as a by-your-leave, let alone a goodbye kiss. All of a
sudden they are disgusted by what they have done and want the hell out. It is
just a matter of "release", like they have pissed and now need to leave the
pissoir.
I have recently begun seeing a man who calls himself gay, claims to be
interested in an emotional relationship with a man, and is looking for a
monogamous partner. This is the e-mail I had to send him after our first
attempt at sex:
Dear middle-class Indian man,
Before we take our relationship further (if you want to), I want to state that
you have to change as a lover and become more responsive and more attentive to
the person you are in bed with and might be in a relationship with. Here's an
indication of how selfish you were in bed:
You came thrice and did not bother to ask me if I came even once.
You did not ask me what I like or what I find pleasurable.
You did not rim me but wanted to f--- me (which any lover attentive to his
lover's needs would do).
You did not suck my c--- or even offer to masturbate me if you are not used to
sucking.
You did not kiss me enough, did not let me put my fingers in your mouth while I
was sucking you.
You were only directed at your own needs — the need to get your c--- sucked,
the need to f--- my a---.
Despite telling you that I am an anal virgin and you have to be slow and
gentle, you were impatient, rough, thrusting and insensitive.
This is not the way to treat another human being in bed with you. The other
person also has needs, desires, pleasures. You have to make an attempt to share
bodies, and not just selfishly have your way. You are a typical, selfish and
insensitive Indian man and that does not allow for a healthy, mutually
respectful relationship.
Please reflect on all this if we have to have a future.
Best,
This is why I don't have sex for years sometimes and I'm still an anal virgin
in my forties. I hope lesbians and trannies are having better sex, but somehow
I doubt it. Homophobia and "Indian culture" (let's not blame the Brits for our
sickening conceptions of sex as dirty) have ruined our sex lives. That is where
the revolution should start. When we refuse bad sex and fight for the right to
good sex.
