I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-pwe3-pw-atm-mib-05.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 2008-06-24 IETF LC End Date: 2008-06-24 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Not Ready Comments: I have (too) many editorial concerns. Even the MIB part is to be processed by machines (vs. humans) it should be written with a minimal care. In details: - TOC page 2: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments - 1 page 3: Network(PSN) -> Network (PSN) - all abbrevs must be introduced (or replaced when they are used once). For instance PWE3 has to be introduced... - AN ATM -> An ATM - MIBS -> MIBs (twice. The rule itself doesn't matter but there should be a rule and this rule must be applied). - 3 page 4: a ATM -> an ATM (twice) - net -> network - BTW IMHO you should introduce some ATM terminology too, for instance VP and VC. - 5 page 5: VP and VC abbrevs should be introduced (including the VPI/VCI related abbrevs). - cells transmit -> Cells transmit - replace OAM and ILMI by their definitions. - 6 page 6: is it PWE MIB or PWE3 MIB? - 8 page 7: I suggest a ':' after Table (and before the first '-'). - 1: 1 -> 1:1 (many) - 9 page 8: please add the Country "USA" in addresses. - 9 page 9: the RFC Ed. comments have a string problem. - 9 page 11 and 12: please put a '.' at the end of description strings. (also pages 14 (twice), 17, 18 (twice), 20) - 9 page 12: (3).Unless -> (3). Unless - 9 page 14: description strings should get an uniform identation (twice). (and pages 30, 32) - --Generic -> -- Generic - 9 page 15: interuppted -> interrupted - 9 page 16: .e.g. -> e.g., - 9 page 17: please use the same case for all V[pP][iI] and V[cC][iI] (many) (and page 20) - 9 page 18: a ATM -> an ATM (and page 21 - 9 page 33: for N:1 -> for N:1 - 10 page 33: SNMPV3 -> SNMPv3 - 10 page 34: the 'even if 'even then' seems strange (perhaps it is just something I don't know?) - 12.1 page 35: please put the name of the drafts. - 13 page 36: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments Regards [EMAIL PROTECTED] _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
