[Really CC'ing her this time. Sorry.] On Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 10:32 AM, Mayank Upadhyay <may...@google.com> wrote:
> FYI, Seema no longer has the email address seema.malk...@sun.com > . I'm CC'ing her on an alternate email address: seema.malk...@gmail.com. > Also, we've received feedback about four specific nits from someone named > Joel Jaeggli for operations considerations from the operations directorate. > Presumably the document shepherd or AD has access to those comments as well. > (No one else was CC'd on that email.) > > -Mayank > > > On Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 12:03 AM, Gonzalo Camarillo < > gonzalo.camari...@ericsson.com> wrote: > >> Hi, >> >> I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) >> reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see >> http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). >> >> Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before >> posting a new version of the draft. >> >> >> Draft: draft-ietf-kitten-rfc2853bis-05.txt >> Reviewer: Gonzalo Camarillo <gonzalo.camari...@ericsson.com> >> Review Date: 02 June 2009 >> >> >> Summary: >> >> This draft is ready for publication as a PS RFC. >> >> >> Comments: >> >> In general, Abstracts should not contain references. While referencing >> RFC 2853 to explain that this document obsoletes it is probably OK, I >> would remove the rest of the references from the Abstract. >> >> The naming of the references is not consistent. Some of them are named >> [RFCxxxx] but not all of them. >> >> In Section 4, a ':' to introduce the definition of each optional service >> would probably make the text clearer (e.g., Mutual Authentication: in >> addition...) >> >> The word "Section" should be capitalized when referring to a specific >> section (e.g., in Section 8). >> >> The ID nits tool makes a few observations about boilerplates. The >> authors should make sure that the boilerplates in the draft are OK. >> >> >> http://tools.ietf.org/idnits?url=http://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-kitten-rfc2853bis-05.txt >> >> Also, the ID tools complains about 4 instances of lines with >> non-RFC2606-compliant FQDNs but does not identify them. >> >> >> Thanks, >> >> Gonzalo >> >> >> >
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