Note: the previous version was partially reviewed.
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
< http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.
Document: draft-ietf-intarea-shared-addressing-issues-03.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2011-02-16
IETF LC End Date: 2011-02-01
IESG Telechat date: 2011-02-17
Summary: Ready
Major issues: None
Minor issues: None
Nits/editorial comments:
(PS: this means they can be handled by the RFC Editor)
- 5.2.1 page 11: I have a concern about the word 'relay' in
'a UPnP or NAT-PMP relay' as it can be interpreted as a protocol
relay when obviously the service is relayed. Perhaps changing 'relay'
by 'proxy' is better?
- 6 page 13: ICMP is not an application, I suggest 'ICMP echo' or
(for me it is the name of the application but I don't know for any OS
users) 'ping'
- 7 page 14, 13.2 page 18: e.g. -> e.g.,
- 13.5 page 19: please take the opportunity to introduce the 'IKE' abbrev
- 26.[12] page 24: spurious spaces after citations.
i.e., '[ref...] ,' -> '[ref...].'
(IMHO it is a side effect of the xml style, so something to be fixed
by the RFC Editor, i.e., just warn him about this)
- in many places the English spelling is used when RFCs use more
the American spelling (another item for the RFC Editor).
Here is the list from my ispell:
Randomisation, Behaviour, organisation, randomisation, realise,
customised, centralised, randomisation, Randomisation, randomisation,
randomisation, Behaviour, optimisation, optimisation, utilise,
utilise
- real spelling errors:
Feburary, tunnelled (one 'l' please), demuxing,
signalling (twice, one 'l' again).
Thanks
francis.dup...@fdupont.fr
_______________________________________________
Gen-art mailing list
Gen-art@ietf.org
https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
