I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-genarea-charter-tool-07 Reviewer: Kathleen M. Moriarty Review Date: March 24, 2011 IETF LC End Date: March 25, 2011 IESG Telechat date: (if known) Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication and just has some nits that should be addressed. Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: Comma in last sentence of Abstract is not necessary. Introduction, last sentence: Remove "of" - Change from: dozen, and every WG that has had some (often dozens) of changes to To: dozen, and every WG that has had some (often dozens) changes to Introduction, second paragraph, first line: This reads a little funny. If it intends to say, most and not all I would recommend the following change: Change from: Currently, virtually all To: Currently, most Reminder to delete section 1.2 :) Last sentence in section 2.3: What word is intended where it says wach? Is that a typo? Section 3.1, sentence 3: replace "," with "and" From: "The form comes with defaults of the AD who is filling in the form as the shepherding AD, that AD's area as the proposed area." To: "The form comes with defaults of the AD who is filling in the form as the shepherding AD and that AD's area as the proposed area." Section 3.1, 1st paragraph, last sentence: Change from: "The names of the WG chairs can be left off during the initial charterin process." To: "The names of the WG chairs can be left off during the initial charter in process." Section 3.1, last sentence of Internal review section: Remove first "or" - the comma separated list with the last "or" is enough to convey an or across all three options. Section 3.1: External review - spell out "SDO" acronym Section 3.2: Internal review - remove the first "or" in the last sentence Section 5.1: Missing "." At end of section Section 7: An earlier section mentions the capabilities to have role based access to the tool for types of access. Since this document will later be used for an RFP to create a tool, do you want to list out the security requirements that would have to be met in that proposal? This may or may not be desired as this section usually refers to the security of a protocol, etc. _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
