Hi, Suresh, Thanks for the comment; yes, this one is a bit hard to parse (even for me, and I tend to write page-length sentences). I've tweaked your suggested text somewhat and applied to the current working copy of the -02 revision.
Best regards, Brian On Jun 5, 2012, at 5:53 PM, Suresh Krishnan wrote: > I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) > reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see > http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). > > Please wait for direction from your document shepherd > or AD before posting a new version of the draft. > > Document: draft-ietf-mile-iodef-xmlreg-01.txt > Reviewer: Suresh Krishnan > Review Date: 2012/06/07 > IESG Telechat date: 2012/06/05 > > Summary: This document is ready for publication as a Proposed Standard but I > have a comment. > > Minor > ===== > > * Introduction: > > The first sentence is too complex and very difficult to parse. Please > consider breaking it up. I have proposed some changed text, but feel free to > ignore if it changes the meaning of what you wanted to convey. > > OLD: > IODEF extensions via class extension through AdditionalData and > RecordItem elements, as per section 5.2 of [RFC5070], generally > register their namespaces and schemas with the IANA XML Namespace > registry at http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/ns.html and > the IANA XML Schema registry at > http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/schema.html, > respectively [RFC3688]. > > NEW: > The classes of the IODEF data model can be extended by the use of > AdditionalData and RecordItem elements, as per section 5.2 of [RFC5070]. > IODEF extensions that use such extended classes register their namespaces and > schemas with the IANA XML Namespace > registry at http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/ns.html and > the IANA XML Schema registry at > http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/schema.html, > respectively [RFC3688]. > > > Thanks > Suresh > > > > _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
