I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> .
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-6204bis-09 Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour Review Date: 2012-07-11 IETF LC End Date: 2012-07-11 IESG Telechat date: - Summary: This draft is almost ready to be published as Informational RFC but I do have some comments. Major issues: none Minor issues: -[Page 20], Appendix A, the list only covers changes to existing text in RFC6204. It would help the reader if you could please add a paragraph on new additions, e.g. 6rd, etc.; even though this is mentioned in the Abstract. -[Page 20], Appendix A, all changes refer precisely to a bullet ID (e.g. G-5, WAA7, etc.) which makes it easier to find the change in the document; except changes #1, 8, 10, 12, 13. It would bring great clarification if you could please add a precise reference in the text for these change items. Nits/editorial comments: -[Page 4], "NAT" is first used, please spell out. -[Page 6], Section 3.2.1, last sentence: the ULA-5 and L-4 are not right below the text but appear one page later. Suggestion: "..especially requirements ULA-5 and L-4 below." --> "..especially requirements ULA-5 and L-4 described in Section 4". -[Page 8] W-6, [I-D.ietf-pcp-base] is now version v-26.[Page 17] gives reference to v-24. -[Page 8] W-6, "..is enabled by default or mechanisms by which.." --> "..is enabled by default or using mechanisms by which.." -[Page 9] WAA-4, IA_NA is first used, reference to [RFC3315] would be useful and consistent with the rest of the sentence. -[Page 11] WPD-8, [I-D.ietf-dhc-pd-exclude] is now RFC6603. [Page 17] gives reference to draft v-4. -[Page 15], DLW-2, "Network Address Translation (NAT)": second time acronym is spelled out in the document. Can just use "NAT" instead. note: "NAT" is first used and should be spelled out in Section 3.1. -[Page 15], [MULTIHOMING-WITHOUT-NAT] reference format needs to be updated and point to draft-ietf-v6ops-ipv6-multihoming-without-ipv6nat-0x -[Page 20], item 8 has a typo, "if an service provider"---->"if a service provider" Thanks, Meral --- Meral Shirazipour Ericsson Research www.ericsson.com _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
