Hi Jouni,
OOPS, forget this one, sorry.
o My “complaint” of this document is basically on the following.. these are
writing
style things so feel free to neglect:
- It repeats.. the same statements multiple times.
Lucy: perhaps some can reference previous section.
- When reading the document I get the feeling it is actually two documents.
The
technical specification (which is very short) and the general deployment
considerations document. I would have split it to two but that is just me.
Lucy: When we were developing this document, we kindly became clear ourselves,
we need to address two parts and want to do in one document.
Regards,
Lucy
-----Original Message-----
From: Gen-art [mailto:gen-art-boun...@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Jouni
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2016 1:51 AM
To: gen-art@ietf.org (gen-art@ietf.org);
draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap....@ietf.org
Subject: [Gen-art] Generate review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap-16
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Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap-16
Reviewer: Jouni Korhonen
Review Date: 8/11/2016
IETF LC End Date: 2016-08-12
IESG Telechat date: (if known)
Summary: Ready with minor nits.
Major issues: None.
Minor issues: Read on..
Editorials/nits:
o My “complaint” of this document is basically on the following.. these are
writing
style things so feel free to neglect:
- It repeats.. the same statements multiple times.
- When reading the document I get the feeling it is actually two documents.
The
technical specification (which is very short) and the general deployment
considerations document. I would have split it to two but that is just me.
The other nits.
o There are bunch of acronyms that are not expanded either never or on their
first use.
Some examples include UDP, DSCP, DS, PMTU, MPLS, VNP, .. Pay attention to
these.
o In the Introduction give a reference to EtherType e.g., the repository where
they
are maintained or by whom they are maintained.
o On line 129 is says:
This document specifies GRE-in-UDP tunnel requirements for two
Based on the earlier text I would suggest saying “..document also
specifies..”
o On line 143 I would also (following the previous style in the paragraph)
capitalize
“wide area networks” as well.
o In multiple places (lines 236, 887) the reference is after the full stop.
Place full
stop after the reference.
o The document uses both tunnel ingress/egress and encapsulator/decapsulator.
Is there a
specific reason to have this differentiation? If not use common terminology
throughout
the document.
o On line 654 is says:
MUST comply with requirement 1 and 8-10 in Section 5 of
How is this “MUST” enforced?
o In Section 7.1 I find it a bit odd discussing NATs in the specific context
of IPv6. If
you have a specific IPv6 NAT scenario in mind either spell it out or give a
reference
to a specification that describes the technology/use case.
o In Section 8 and lines 784-785 has a “MUST NOT” for traffic that is not
known to be
congestion-controlled.. I would be interested in knowing how to enforce this
“MUST”
specifically in the Internet case.
o Line 909 typo “ether” -> “either”.
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