Hi, Thanks for the quick answer and for addressing my comments.
On respect to: > There is no conflict, as the eCall document applies to regions that adhere to the E.U. eCall system, and this document applies to other regions. I added the following sentence to the paragraphs in the Abstract and Introduction: A vehicle designed for multiple regions will comply with the document applicable to the region in which it is located. I do not believe that this is sufficiently clear. Do you mean here that this document applies to all regions that do not implement the eCall system? If so, please say it explicitely. Also, what does 'comply' mean? Is this about what is implemented in the software, or about what is activated? Without this clarification, your usage of MANDATORY and OPTIONAL keywords is fuzzy. Regards, Dan On Thu, Jan 5, 2017 at 9:11 PM, Randall Gellens <rg+i...@randy.pensive.org> wrote: > Hi Dan, > > Thanks for your review. Please see in-line. > > > At 3:13 AM -0800 1/5/17, Dan Romascanu wrote: > > Reviewer: Dan Romascanu >> Review result: Almost Ready >> >> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area >> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed >> by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just >> like any other last call comments. >> >> For more information, please see the FAQ at >> >> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. >> >> Document: draft-ietf-ecrit-car-crash-20 >> Reviewer: Dan Romascanu >> Review Date: 2017-01-05 >> IETF LC End Date: 2017-01-06 >> IESG Telechat date: 2017-01-19 >> >> Summary: >> >> It's a good and useful document which needs to be read and understood >> together with the eCall document, and other relevant documents from >> EC, NENA, APCOT. There is at least one major issue that deserves >> discussion and clarification before approval, IMO. >> >> Major issues: >> >> 1. One aspect of the relationship with eCall is unclear to me. >> >> The Abstract says: >> >> This document is an extension >>> >> of the eCall document, with the primary differences being that >> this >> document makes the MSD data set optional and VEDS mandatory, and >> adds >> attribute values to the metadata/control object to permit greater >> functionality. >> >> Then in the Introduction: >> >> This document reuses the technical aspects of next-generation pan- >>> >> European eCall (a mandated and standardized system for emergency >> calls by in-vehicle systems within Europe), as described in >> [I-D.ietf-ecrit-ecall]. However, this document specifies a >> different >> set of vehicle (crash) data, specifically, the Vehicle Emergency >> Data >> Set (VEDS) rather than the eCall Minimum Set of Data (MSD). >> >> and in Section 9: >> >> This document extends [I-D.ietf-ecrit-ecall] by reusing the call >>> >> set- >> up and other normative requirements with the exception that in >> this >> document, support for the eCall MSD is OPTIONAL and support for >> VEDS >> in REQUIRED. >> >> First of all it's not clear if by 'eCall document' what it's meant is >> the European document or draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall. >> > > My understanding is that references are frowned upon in Abstracts, > otherwise there would be a reference to the IETF eCall draft there. I did > change "extension of the eCall document" to "extension of the IETF eCall > document" to try and make this more clear. > > Second it's not clear >> how the two IETF documents, both on standards track relate, when the >> status of the MSD and VEDS data sets are different. What would >> prevail? The IESG is asked to approve two document, both on standards >> track, with different and in this case contradictory content. If I am >> a car manufacturer, I would ask myself what support will be mandatory >> to implement? Or maybe there are different scenarios where the >> different data sets are recommended? But then should not support for >> both be mandatory to implement and optional to use, maybe per >> geographical area? After all vehicles cross borders, or are >> transported / exported over the seas nowadays. >> > > There is no conflict, as the eCall document applies to regions that adhere > to the E.U. eCall system, and this document applies to other regions. I > added the following sentence to the paragraphs in the Abstract and > Introduction: > > A vehicle designed for multiple regions will > comply with the document applicable to the region in which it is > located. > > The eCall document already says (in Document Scope): > > Note that vehicles designed for multiple regions might need to > support eCall and other Advanced Automatic Crash Notification (AACN) > systems (such as described in [I-D.ietf-ecrit-car-crash]), but this > is out of scope of this document. > > > >> Minor issues: >> >> 1. In the Abstract: >> >> ... this document specifies a different set of vehicle (crash) >>> >> data, specifically, the Vehicle Emergency Data Set (VEDS) ... >> >> Actually VEDS is not specified in this document, but by APCO and NENA >> and referred by this document. >> > > I'll change "specifies" to "specifies use of". > > >> 2. In section 4: >> >> In the paired model, the IVS uses a Bluetooth link with a >>> >> previously- >> paired handset to establish an emergency call >> >> Is Bluetooth only an example, or only one standard way of establishing >> a paired communication in the legacy example? I suspect the later - so >> I suggest that the text is reformulated in this manner. >> > > Ok, I changed it to "a local link (typically Bluetooth)". > > 3. I am not an expert in this area but I wonder whether the initial >> values of the registry in 14.6 are aligned with car manufacturers >> standards. For example I am wondering if lamps that change colors >> should not be also included. >> > > The goal is that the initial values capture values that are widely > supported by vehicles and likely to be useful to PSAPs. > > >> 4. I am not an expert in this area but I wonder whether the initial >> values of the registry in 14.7 are aligned with car manufacturers >> standards. For example I am wondering why night-vision capability is >> provided only for the front cameras. >> > > The values were picked based on what's most supported, but I will add rear > and side night-vision to the initial values. > > >> >> Nits/editorial comments: >> >> 1. I believe that the European eCall requirements documents 16062 and >> 16072 need to be Informative References. >> > > EU eCall requirements are referenced in the eCall draft, which this draft > normatively references, and are not directly used in this draft, so I don't > see that it's useful to add them here. > > 2. Add an informative reference for Bluetooth mentioned in Section 4. >> > > OK. > > 3. Section 16 needs to be removed at publication. >> > > I'll add a note. > > -- > Randall Gellens > Opinions are personal; facts are suspect; I speak for myself only > -------------- Randomly selected tag: --------------- > Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty > when the government's purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are > naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded > rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment > by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding. > --Louis D. Brandeis >
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