Hi, Joel, On Mon, Jul 13, 2020 at 11:17 PM Joel Halpern via Datatracker < nore...@ietf.org> wrote:
> Reviewer: Joel Halpern > Review result: Ready > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-cellar-ffv1-16 > Reviewer: Joel Halpern > Review Date: 2020-07-13 > IETF LC End Date: 2020-07-16 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: This document appears to be ready for publication as an > Informational > RFC. > > *I would have raised question about the intended status, but it appears > that > this is an established IETF convention and I see no reason to argue.) > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > Section 3.4 (Context) introduces the notation Q_{#}[ subscript }. As > that > is the first reference to Q_{#}, it is rather confusing to the > reader. I > grant that the term is defined in the next section (3.5). Couldn't > they be > reversed? > > Section 3.8.1.1 refers to C(i), C_{i}, and C_i. Are these all the same > thing. > > Section 3.8.1.2 refers to get-rac (which is treated as a function in > the > pseudo-code) as being the process described in section 3.8.1.1. The > text > in 3.8.1.1 does not call out any of its computed values as an explicit > result or return. While I would guess that the intention is to use the > byte stream (B()), the text does not actually say that. If that is the > intention, could the last line of 3.8.1.1 be "get_rac() returns > sequential > bytes from the Byte Stream (B()) as computed by the computation > described > in section 3.8.1.1"? > > Nits/editorial comments: > Thanks for the review! We'll work through these comments. Best, Spencer
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