--- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2000 06:53:47 -0400 > Reply-to: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Subject: MailBits.com: Jokes Subscription > > =========================================================== > >>> $100 Off Select Dell(TM) Desktops and > Notebooks! <<< > Get cutting-edge Dimension(TM) desktops and > Inspiron(TM) > notebooks from Dell and take $100 off already > outstanding > prices on each system. Offer lasts through 8/31/00. > > ----> Click here to get $100 Off! <---- > http://www.mmtrack.net/m/s.asp?H1915928643X821404 > > <a > href="http://www.mmtrack.net/m/s.asp?H1915928643X821404"> > > AOL Users Click Here</a> > =========================================================== > > Today's MailBits.com Joke: > > YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING 'MARVELOUSLY MATURE' > WHEN............. > 1. You and your teeth don't sleep together. > 2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your > socks and > discover you aren't wearing any. > 3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, > pop and > you're not eating cereal. > 4. Your back goes out but you stay home. > 5. When you wake up looking like your driver's > license > picture. > 6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. > 7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the > patio. > 8. When happy hour is a nap. > 9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out > before > your money does.. > 10. When you say something to your kids that your > mother said > to you and you always hated it. > 11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be > reminded > of your age. > 12. When you step off a curb and look down one more > time to > make sure the street is still there. > 13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up. > 14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get > tired. > 15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining > lasts longer. > 16. Your address book has mostly names that start > with Dr. > 17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it > going. > 18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend. > 19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the > parking > lot. > 20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection > from the > sun on your bifocals. > 21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good. > 22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - > doesn't work. > 23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and > they were > on your head the whole time. > 24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay > there. > 25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't > feel > good. > 26. You have more patience, but it is actually that > you just > don't care anymore. > 27. You finally get your head together and your body > starts > falling apart. > 28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when > you don't > even remember being on top of it. > > ------------------------------------------------------------ > > Tired of high gas prices? > Enter this sweepstakes for a chance to win free gas > for 1 year at any > gas station of your choice. It's free to enter! So > don't delay! > http://mailbits.net/ad/gas21.asp > ------------------------------------------------------------- > > Quick Wit: > > Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're > cute but > they just chase you around all day long going, "Can > I have a > dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!" > -- Kathleen Madigan > > > > An amazing 1 out of every 3 FreeLotto players have > already > won cash, cars, or luxury vacations! Why wait? Click > here to > play for FREE! http://mailbits.net/ad/lotto21.asp > > > > Special thanks to our readers for submitting today's > jokes. > > > ____________________ > This email is part of your jokes subscription. > You are subscribed under: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > To unsubscribe, email [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Or Goto: > http://mailbits.com/end.asp?L=Jokes&e=GIRLCALLEDHORSE%40YAHOO.COM > > (C) Copyright MailBits.com 1998-2000. > 1040 1st Ave. #260 NY, NY 10022-2902 > __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail � Free email you can access from anywhere! http://mail.yahoo.com/
