---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Spanky Enriquez <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Date: Oct 6, 2008 12:05 AM Subject: 25 Best (and Worst!) 'STAR WARS' Moments To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[image: empire-vader-beckons_l] *THE 15 BEST STAR WARS MOMENTS* *''LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER.''* *Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back* Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill<http://www.ew.com/ew/allabout/0,,20001683,00.html>) has finally come face-to-face with his mortal enemy, Darth Vader, and the two proceed to engage in an epic duel through the innards of Cloud City. The duel ends when Vader slices off the young Jedi's hand and drops some particularly heavy familial science on the lad. [image: empire-han-leia-goodbye_l] *''I LOVE YOU.'' ''I KNOW.''* *Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back* The Empire has taken control of Cloud City, all as part of a trap to snare Luke Skywalker. Darth Vader wants to freeze the young Jedi for the trip back to the Emperor, so he tests the carbon freezer on Han Solo (Harrison Ford<http://www.ew.com/ew/allabout/0,,20000129,00.html>). And just before our favorite scoundrel gets the Big Chill, Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher <http://www.ew.com/ew/allabout/0,,20001781,00.html>) declares her love. And what does he say? The equivalent of ''Yeah, I got this.'' Someone should given Han a Jawa-encrusted pimp cup. [image: Star-Wars-Jabba-the-Hutt_l] *THE GOLD BIKINI* *Episode VI — Return of the Jedi* Princess Leia Organa was always cute and feisty and regal and did I mention cute? But it wasn't until she was held captive in Jabba's court that she became hot. Yes, I'm sure Carrie Fisher lounging in a two-piece is one of the root causes of an entire generation's sexual objectification of women, especially in science-fiction fandom, but this was a momentous occasion. A nation of boys first felt a collective stirring in the Force. [image: star-wars-millenium-rescu_l] *''YOU'RE ALL CLEAR, KID. NOW LET'S BLOW THIS THING AND GO HOME!''* *Episode IV — A New Hope* Luke is all alone in the Death Star trench, his X-wing streaking toward the exhaust port, and with it, salvation for the Rebel Alliance. R2-D2's been hit and the rest of Red Squadron is dead or disabled. He's got three TIE fighters on his tail, one of which is piloted by Darth Vader. Hope is slipping away...until the *Millennium Falcon* comes streaking out of the sun, Han Solo screaming like a banshee, getting rid of the TIEs and giving Luke a clear shot at destiny. [image: empire-Xwing_l] *LIFTING THE X-WING* *Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back* Think about it: Until Yoda hoisted Luke's X-wing out of the Dagobah swamp, the Force had only been used in small ways — flipping switches, clouding minds, choking subordinates. This is when we first saw the raw power of the Force at work. And coming from the little green puppet, it signaled that anyone could be majestic, no matter how small. [image: empire-asteroid-field_l] *''NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS''* *Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back* The *Millennium Falcon* is one of the most unreliable ships in sci-fi, but when she manages to hold together, Han Solo's ride is a wonder to behold. Watching Han throw the *Falcon* into whiplash turns and breakneck dives, all while eluding a Star Destroyer and a flock of TIE fighters in a randomly lethal asteroid field, was an almost operatic experience. [image: phantom-darth-maul2_l] *THE DOUBLE-EDGED LIGHTSABER* *Episode I — The Phantom Menace* Just when fans thought they'd seen everything under *Star Wars*' twin suns, out came this little surprise. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor<http://www.ew.com/ew/allabout/0,,20000148,00.html>) and Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson<http://www.ew.com/ew/allabout/0,,20000411,00.html>) are engaged in a pitched lightsaber battle with the devilish Darth Maul (Ray Park) and, just when it seemed the Jedis were getting the upper hand, Maul kicks out that second blade at the end of his 'saber. And that leads to, perhaps, the most thrillingly choreographed fight in *Star Wars* history. [image: revenge-lightsaber_l] *THE FINAL BATTLE: OBI-WAN VS. ANAKIN* *Episode III — Revenge of the Sith* And here's the most *important* fight in *Star Wars* history. We knew it was coming, the moment when Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen<http://www.ew.com/ew/allabout/0,,20000258,00.html>) completely turned to the Dark Side and Obi-Wan decimated the man he once called brother. And it was something to see, lit by the harsh lava-red light of Mustafar. The universe would never be the same. [image: star-wars-crawl_l] *''A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY....''* *Episode IV — A New Hope* Until I was well into my teens, every time I saw a 20th Century Fox film, I expected to see those ten simple words, followed by that giant, interlocking-letter *Star Wars* logo slamming into the frame, accompanied by those triumphant John Williams horns. That's what happens when *Star Wars*is the first movie you see. [image: empire-hoth_l] *THE AT-AT ATTACK* *Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back* The Rebels had found a pretty decent hiding spot in the ice planet Hoth. At least until those giant, elephantine All Terrain Armored Transports started to bear down on the Rebel compound. And you know what, Luke and his boys couldn't stop them — those AT-ATs chased them right off of Hoth. That stop-motion wizardry, plus Ben Burtt's terrific sound design, made impending doom completely awesome. [image: attack-yoda-lightsaber_l] *YODA KICKS ASS* *Episode II — Attack of the Clones* Didn't see that coming, did you? Little ol' Yoda, hobbling onto the scene after Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) pummeled Obi-Wan and Anakin. And then he flicks that lightsaber on and turns into a super-bounce ball of death. Unleash a pint-size can of whup-ass, he will. [image: force-unleashed-l] *RIPPING A STAR DESTROYER OUT OF THE SKY* *The Force Unleashed* There are some problems with LucasArts' new *Star Wars* game, which allows you to play as Vader's secret apprentice, Starkiller (which, of course, you all know was Lucas' original surname for Luke) — sometimes the controls are wonky, it can be oddly repetitive and awkwardly difficult, etc. But it does have moments of sheer grandeur, like when you use the Force to pull a Star Destroyer out of the sky and bring it crashing down to the ground. With your hands. [image: jedi-luke-sail-barge_l] *LUKE, A FULL-FLEDGED JEDI KNIGHT* *Episode VI — Return of the Jedi* The younger Skywalker put the whole ''rescue Han'' plan in motion — he planted Lando Calrissian in Jabba the Hutt's service, he had R2-D2 get a job slinging drinks, he even had himself captured so he could be in precisely the right place at the right time. Luke had always been something of an incomplete Jedi, his natural strength with the Force often compensating for his lack of skill and training. But here, complete with his shiny-new green lightsaber, he was a Jedi in full. [image: jedi-speeder-bike_l] *THE ENDOR SPEEDER CHASE* *Episode VI — Return of the Jedi* Pure kinetic spectacle. All of the joy of riding a motorcycle mated with the speed of flying a plane, combined through a walk in the galaxy's biggest forest. The speeder chase would, eventually, lead Luke and Leia to meet the Ewoks, proving that even great things can come to a bad end. [image: star-wars-greedo_l] *HAN SHOOTS FIRST* *Episode IV — A New Hope* This tiny event is something of a big deal. When we first meet Han Solo, in the Mos Eisley cantina, he's negotiating for his own life with a bounty hunter named Greedo. When it becomes clear that Greedo is going to kill him to collect the money Jabba's put on his head, Han guns him down. This firmly established Han as a dangerous, unpredictable man who could kill with a smile on his face. Which made Luke deciding to ride with him a real step into the unknown. *THE 10 WORST STAR WARS MOMENTS* [image: star-wars-greedo_l] *HAN NO LONGER SHOOTS FIRST* *Episode IV — A New Hope (Special Edition)* As George Lucas got older, it seems he regretted his decision to make Han Solo the kind of man who'd strike preemptively. Heroes, apparently, don't shoot first. So Lucas and his ILM wizards tweaked the scene to make Greedo get the drop on Han — and miss. (Never mind that this makes Greedo the worst shot in the bounty-hunter union.) Fans rallied around this change and used it to illustrate exactly how Lucas had lost touch with both his audience and his franchise. [image: phantom-midichlorian_l] *MIDI-CHLORIANS* *Episode I — The Phantom Menace* Some things just *work*. They don't require explanation, or amplification; they function, in part, because of the lack of detail. The Force used to be like that. In Obi-Wan's words: ''The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.'' But in *The Phantom Menace*we're told that the Force is a byproduct of microorganisms living inside our blood. The more midi-chlorians, the stronger with the Force a person is. The Force was always hooey, but it was *elegant* hooey. Way to suck out all the magic, George. [image: Phantom-jar-jar_l] *JAR-JAR BINKS* *Episode I — The Phantom Menace* The greatest sin of Jar-Jar Binks is not that he's a racist caricature (and not the only one in the prequels), ported over from a bygone cinematic era. It's not that he doesn't actually provide any of the comic relief that he seems designed to (unlike R2-D2 and C-3PO, who succeed in being funny). It's that he's an entirely futile character. None of the films are better for his presence, and nothing in the story requires him to be there. (I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon could've made contact with the Gungans without him.) [image: episode2_l] *''HOLD ME, LIKE YOU DID BY THE LAKE ON NABOO.''* *Episode III — Revenge of the Sith* Oh, this plea from Senator Amidala (Natalie Portman<http://www.ew.com/ew/allabout/0,,20000084,00.html>) to Anakin is a bad line of dialogue, to be sure. But it's emblematic of a larger problem: That the central romance of the *Star Wars* saga is inherently unbelievable and, without the structural foundation of that romance, the transformation of Anakin Skywalker from Jedi to scourge of the galaxy is also unbelievable. [image: phantom-anikan-amidala_l] *ANYTIME ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS CALLED ''ANNIE''* *Episodes I, II, and III* When Spike TV got the broadcast rights to all of the *Star Wars* flicks, one of their posters had a particularly imposing shot of Darth Vader along with the following text: ''A guy can only be called 'Annie' so many times before he snaps.'' Amen. [image: Jedi-Boba-Fett_l] *BOBA FETT BUYS IT, AND CHEAP* *Episode VI — Return of the Jedi* There's no real reason why Boba Fett is as beloved a character as he is. He had the teensiest amount of screen time in *Empire*, but he had that supercool ship — you know you almost got a ''Slave One'' personalized license plate on your first car — and he had a jetpack. He was the baddest bounty hunter in the known universe. So for him to die thanks to Han's wild, blind, random swings of a staff — which ignited said jetpack and sent him spiraling into the belly of the Sarlacc — is ignoble. [image: phantom-anakin-explosion_l] *''YIPPEE!'' (A.K.A. ANAKIN SAVES THE DAY — BY ACCIDENT)* *Episode I — The Phantom Menace* When Luke destroys the Death Star in *A New Hope*, it was a long shot, sure, but it had been established that he was a good pilot and could hit a womp-rat-size target (two meters wide). When Anakin (Jake Lloyd) stumbles into the cockpit of a Naboo fighter, rides the autopilot into the massive space battle in the skies above, winds up in the hangar bay of the Trade Federation ship controlling the droid army that's neutering the Gungans back on Naboo, randomly fires off a few rounds that just happen to hit the ship's reactor, and outruns the fireball that should've killed him...well, that's just too damned much. [image: 115919__ewoks_l] *THE TWIG* *Episode VI — Return of the Jedi* It goes like this: On Endor, while sneaking around the forest, Han steps on a twig. The noise alerts some stormtroopes, which kicks off the Speeder Chase, which ends with meeting the Ewoks. Then, the Ewoks capture the Rebels, but end up being forming an anti-Empire alliance. And, if the Ewoks don't help fight the Empire on Endor, and knock out the shield generator — allowing Lando and Nien Nunb to destroy the Death Star II — the good guys lose. When writing your galactic good vs. evil saga, don't make the fate of the universe hinge upon where a dude places his foot. [image: phantom-pod-race_l] *THE POD RACE* *Episode I — The Phantom Menace* A special effects marvel, to be sure. But watching Anakin hot-rod his way around a dust-bowl track, with crappy play-by-play announcers providing ''hilarious'' color commentary, was a dramatically inert experience. Loud, but inert. [image: star-wars-luke-pouty_l] *WHINY-PANTS LUKE* *Episode IV — A New Hope* ''But I was going into Tashi Station to pick up some power converters.'' I get that Luke was supposed to start his heroic journey as an immature lad, but his teenage moping was just sad. Man up, buddy. We've all got chores. -- spanx' blog: http://spankyenriquez.blogspot.com/ --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "gimik" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/gimik?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
